


Same As It Ever Was

by BonitaBreezy



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Established Relationship, I'm so bad at tags I'm sorry, M/M, and also there's some weird meta shit going on that they're not really aware of, basically Harry and Cisco are super married, it's an au inside of canon kind of fic, kind of, that's it that's the fic, this is some inception shit, wacky metas and their wacky dream powers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 01:06:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15183383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BonitaBreezy/pseuds/BonitaBreezy
Summary: And you may find yourself in a beautiful houseWith a beautiful wifeAnd you may ask yourself, wellHow did I get here?Harry and Cisco find themselves trapped in a dream of Harry's perfect reality.  It's up to Jesse and the Team Flash to save them, but first they have to convince them that they need to be saved.





	Same As It Ever Was

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I'm terrible at summaries and tags so thanks for taking a chance on me  
> Fic title is from Once in a Lifetime by the Talking Heads.

Harrison Wells woke to the sudden and pervasive sensation of morning sunlight shining through the window and directly through his eyelids.  He groaned heartily and rolled to turn his face into his pillow to block it out, already falling back asleep. He groaned again when his pillow was forcibly pulled from underneath his head, but it came out as more of a despairing whine.

“Get up, Harry, you’ve got an appointment in an hour.”

He grumbled something not particularly complimentary under his breath, but all he got in reward for it was the thump of his pillow wapping him across the back.

“Not my fault you were in the lab until four.  I’m making breakfast and I might be convinced to give you some if you’re showered and dressed in twenty minutes.”  

Harry listened as the bedroom door closed and a pair of feet thundered down the stairs.  He considered, for a moment, blowing off the meeting and going back to sleep, but it was too late.  The blackout curtains had been opened and the light ensured that he was wide awake. It was a dastardly move, but admittedly effective.  He also considered staying in bed anyway, just to be contrary, but now that he was awake he could smell coffee. It was like a siren song, and reluctantly he pulled himself out of bed and headed off to take a shower.

Twenty-two minutes later found him following the scent of bacon and coffee into the kitchen, where Cisco was lounging at the table with his feet propped up on the chair across from him.  His hair was still wet from the shower, and little beads of moisture dripped from his curls onto his gray Star Wars t-shirt. 

“You’re late,” he said, not looking away from his phone.

“You’re annoying,” Harry shot back, heading straight for the refrigerator to grab the coffee creamer.  

He spared a small, fond smile for the picture of Cisco and Jesse stuck to the freezer door.  It had been taken over the summer, and in it they sat shoulder to shoulder, their heads cocked together, eyes crossed and tongues out.  Harry loved that picture, though he’d never admit it out loud. Cisco knew, though; he always knew. The day after Harry had seen it for the first time, an 11x14 that covered the expanse of the freezer door had appeared, and there it had been ever since.

“You love me,” Cisco said confidently as Harry took his seat at the table, his coffee mug so full it was almost overflowing.

“Yeah,” Harry admitted grudgingly.

It was worth it, though, for the way Cisco smiled and met him halfway for a kiss.

* * *

The meeting, as predicted, was awful.  The majority of his R&D department was so incompetent that he may as well fire all of them and start from scratch.  Half the projects for the quarter were behind schedule, and he’d just gotten word that Mercury Labs had scooped up one of his best engineers by promising him the department head position.  All the bad news left him in a particularly sour mood and he had to resist the urge to go lurk in the labs like a vulture to put the fear of Wells into his engineers.

Instead, he stormed to his office, taking satisfaction in the way people practically leapt to get out of his way.  He wasn’t exactly sure what he was going to do once he reached his office, but it was better than going down and verbally abusing all his employees.  Or so Cisco said. Since he got along with people much better than Harry ever had, he just had to take his word for it.

“Shannon,” he barked at his secretary as he marched past her. She jumped in her chair, her eyes going wide. “Hold my calls. I don’t want to be bothered unless a member of my immediate family is dying.”

“Yessir, Dr. Wells,” she stuttered.

Satisfied, he snapped his office door shut behind him and sunk into his overly-expensive-but-incredibly-comfortable chair.  For a moment, he stared at his desktop, considering checking his emails or looking at any number of files flagged as urgent, and then he just let out a huge sigh, popped his feet up on the desk and closed his eyes.  He only realized that he had almost fallen asleep when he heard his office door open, creaking slightly on hinges that needed to be oiled.

“Shannon,” he said, loud and belligerent. “Do you not understand what ‘I do not want to be disturbed’ means?  Because you’re going to learn what ‘classified ads’ mean if you don’t figure it out!”

“Is that any way to welcome your only child?”

Harry’s eyes popped open and his mood lifted into the sky at the sound of Jesse’s voice.  A grin broke over his face when he saw his daughter standing in the doorway, wearing a yellow sundress and a bright smile.

“Jesse!” he said, getting up to move around the desk and hug her. “What are you doing here?”

“Having lunch with my dad,” she said, shaking a Big Belly Burger bag at him before pressing into his arms. “But maybe you don’t deserve it, if that’s how you talk to Shannon.”

Harry scoffed and rolled his eyes, ushering Jesse into a chair and pushing aside the odds and ends on his desk to give them room to eat.  They both tore ravenously into their food, getting through about half of it before even attempting to make conversation. It was the usual fare:  Jesse talking animatedly about every aspect of her friends and her classes and her life while Harry listened attentively and silently, thrilled to hear every detail.  After about half an hour, though, Harry gave her a look that made her stop mid-sentence.

“What?” she asked, a little defensively.

“Not that it isn’t my life’s greatest pleasure to see you,” he said honestly. “But what do you want?”

Jesse gasped, rising an offended hand to her breast theatrically. “I have to want something to visit my favorite father?”

“I’m your only father,” he pointed out.

“Cisco…”

“Don’t even,” Harry cut her off, and she grinned impishly.

“I just love you very much and I wanted to spend some time with you and catch up,” she said, and then quickly added, “And also borrow your Aston Martin.”

“There it is,” he said knowingly. “You have a car, Jesse.  A very nice BMW customized exactly to your specifications that you love.”

“I do love my car,” Jesse assured him.

“Then why do you need mine?”

“Well,” she said, looking down at her hands twisting in her lap bashfully. “I have a date to the gala tonight, and I want to impress him.”

“If you need to impress this guy with money, he’s not worth your time,” Harry told her, suddenly feeling grumpy and protective.  

His Jesse was the smartest person he’d ever met.  Sometimes she blew him away with how fast her mind worked, and the way she could see things in ways he’d never even thought of.  But she was only nineteen, and she was his baby. He’d tear the world apart to protect her, if he had to. Even if it was from snooty little frat boys.

“I’m not trying to impress him with money,” she said, rolling her eyes like the thought alone was ridiculous. “He loves cars, and yours will make his head explode.  He’ll love it, Daddy. Please?”

Jesse hit him full force with the puppy dog eyes and he immediately felt his resolve crumble.  He was weak and they both knew it. Harry suppressed a sigh, even as he was reaching into his pocket for his keys.

“Don’t take it out of the city,” he said sternly. “Don’t let him drive it, and if his head explodes you have to pay for the detailing.”

“Deal!” Jesse said excitedly, swapping her keys for his so he wouldn’t be left without a ride. “Thank you, Daddy!”

She practically threw herself over the top of the desk so she could wrap her arms around his shoulders and kiss his cheek.

“You’re welcome,” he said, rubbing her back fondly.

“I’ve got to go because I’ve got class in twenty minutes,” she said. “But know that I love you and you’re the best dad in the world!”

She collected her things in record time and raced out of his office like she was being chased.  He stared at his office door for a long moment, wondering if he’d just somehow been duped, and then his phone chimed on his desk.  He glanced at it, only opening the message when he saw it was from Cisco.

_ ‘Be nice to Shannon, I might love her more than I love you.’ _

He snorted, wondering if Jesse and Cisco had a psychic connection.  Surely he couldn’t have gotten the whole story via text already.

_ ‘My needs from my secretary don’t revolve around her willingness to give you candy,’ _ he shot back.

_ ‘Your only needs should be making sure your husband is happy.  Shannon’s candy stash makes me very happy.’ _

A flood of affection rushed through him and for a moment Harry considered sending him back something sappy and sweet to let Cisco know how much he loved him.  Then, he reconsidered and flipped him the bird with an emoji. He knew Cisco would understand.

* * *

It looked like a small tornado had torn through the living room when Harry got home that evening.  Several of the throw blankets Cisco’s  _ abuela _ had made them were lying in a crumpled heap on the floor along with most of the couch cushions.  One of the floor lamps had been knocked over, and their wedding photo was hanging at an off-kilter angle on the wall.  Cisco--his hair a frizzy mess--was standing in the middle of the destruction dressed in half a suit. He was missing the coat and tie entirely, and his shirt was unbuttoned at the throat and rolled at the sleeves.  Harry let himself look indulgently, his eyes trailing down past the suspenders that hung loosely around Cisco’s hips, all the way down to his bare toes against the plush carpet.

It was a really good look, and he immediately began formulating a plan to convince Cisco to skip the gala entirely and just stay in.

“What are you doing?” he found himself asking, almost sure that he didn’t want to know.

“I can’t find my phone,” Cisco said plaintively. “Give me yours.”

Harry tossed his phone over automatically, watching in amusement as Cisco fumbled to catch it.  He managed to clasp it between his hands at about waist-level, shooting Harry a dark glare as he did so.

“It would have been your fault if it broke,” he grumbled as he punched his number in.  

His ringtone began playing, sounding close, and he turned in place, glaring around him as if he could summon his phone with the power of his stare.  Then, he came to an abrupt stop, pushed his hand into his back pocket, and came out with his phone.

“Oh my god,” he groaned, ending the call. “I’ve been looking for this for thirty minutes.”

He dropped onto the couch, not seeming to care that it was cushion-less, and let out a throaty whine.  Harry didn’t bother to try and hold back his laugh, leaning over the back of the couch so he could massage Cisco’s shoulders.

“What’s got you so stressed?”

“I’m not stressed, just tired,” Cisco sighed, shooting Harry an accusatory look. “My boss has really been riding my ass lately.”

“You’ve never complained before,” Harry said blithely, and Cisco snorted.

“Nice,” he said appreciatively. “But really, my whole crew is terrified you’re gonna come busting down the door and breathe fire.  They’re like a bunch of skittish bunny rabbits.”

“A little terror is good for their character,” Harry said. “And you know if I had a problem with your team’s work I would have said something.”

“I do,” Cisco agreed. “But maybe on Monday you can come take a look at our progress, give a compliment here or there.  Build morale.”

“I have to go around and check on the progress of a lot of the other teams, so I suppose I can drop by and hand out a few gold stars,” Harry sighed. “If you think it will help.”

“I do,” Cisco said, beaming in that way he did when he was proud of Harry’s social graces. “By the way, I picked up your tux from the dry cleaner’s on the way home, it’s upstairs.”

“I was thinking,” Harry said, sliding his hand from Cisco’s shoulder and down across his chest, tucking his fingers under the open collar and giving a tantalizing stroke, “that we could just stay in tonight…”

“Not happening,” Cisco said, and then moaned a little when Harry’s other hand gave his hair a firm tug, just the way he liked. “ _ Harry _ …”

“Could be fun,” Harry wheedled, leaning down to press his lips against Cisco’s neck.

He almost got a bloody nose for his trouble, with the way Cisco lurched forward and launched to his feet, turning to fix him with a glare.

“We are not skipping this gala,” he said sternly. “It’s  _ your _ gala, you have to make a speech!”

“Hewitt can make a speech…”

“Hewitt is going to present the Harrison Wells Scholarship Award for Excellence in STEM Education?” Cisco asked skeptically.

“I didn’t even want to call it that,” Harry muttered, knowing he had lost already.  Cisco was resolved, and there was no convincing him when he was like that.

“Go get dressed,” Cisco commanded. “And if you’re really good tonight, I’ll rock your world when we get home.  Promise.”

Harry rolled his eyes so powerfully it almost hurt, but turned to trudge upstairs anyway.  He was, after all, a smart man. He knew when to pick his battles.

* * *

“Maybe you were right,” Cisco sighed three hours later. “We should have stayed home.”

He grabbed a flute of champagne from a passing waiter and took a long drink.  The night had been just as awful as Harry had imagined it would be; it was a lot of schmoozing with people who had too much money and too much time on their hands.  It was good for the foundation, of course, and he liked being able to sponsor kids who had good heads for STEM, but dealing with all of the self-congratulatory jack offs was a nightmare.  It was, however, a necessary evil.

“When will you realize that I’m always right, Ramon?” Harry asked, tugging at his tie--a steel blue number that perfectly matched the color of Cisco’s tux--until it loosened enough that he could get a breath.

“You’re almost never right,” Cisco retorted. “Stop messing with your tie.”

“This is the worst,” Harry said, through gritted teeth, nodding in greeting at a man who he was fairly sure he was supposed to recognize. “I hate ties.”

“You hate wearing anything that’s not black jeans, t-shirts, and sweaters,” Cisco retorted. “God forbid you add a little color to your wardrobe, Elvira.”

“Black is a functional color,” Harry insisted.

He spotted Jesse across the room, glowing on the arm of a young black man with a bright smile.  His purple tux might have looked garish on anyone else, but he pulled it off well. Jesse looked stunning, of course, in a silver dress with a wide purple sash.

“Who’s that with Jesse?” Cisco asked, following Harry’s gaze.

“All I know about him is that he likes cars,” Harry admitted, watching the boy with a narrowed gaze.

“He looks nice enough,” Cisco said brightly. “Let’s go say hi.”

Before Harry could mount any kind of protest or make a plan of attack, Cisco was linking their arms together and dragging him across the room,

“Hey, Dad, Cisco!” Jesse greeted, giving them both big hugs. “You look great.”

“I always look great,” Cisco told her, shooting his cuffs. “Your dad cleans up pretty well, though.”

“I want a divorce,” Harry said, and Cisco snorted.

“Wally, this is my dad and Cisco, who is--technically--my stepfather,” Jesse explained, making a face. “But I never call him that because it’s way too weird, so really, he’s a friend.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Wells,” the boy said, so quickly his voice almost came out squeaky.  Harry silently congratulated himself on making him nervous just by his mere presence. “And...Mr. Wells?”

“Dr. Ramon,” Cisco corrected. “But you can call me Cisco.”

“Cisco,” the boy repeated with another sunny smile. “I’m Wally. Wally West.”

“Harry says you like cars,” Cisco prompted, and the boy seemed to melt entirely, quickly starting to babble about how amazing Harry’s car was and how much he wanted to own something just like it one day.  

Jesse was beaming at him and Cisco the entire time, her face lit up in a way he hadn’t seen it in years.  It both made him happy and filled him with dread in turns. On the one hand, he lived to see Jesse happy. On the other hand, he hated the idea of this boy having power over the smile on her face.  To know that he could take it away just as easily as he put it there rankled Harry’s nerves. It was even worse to know there was nothing he could do to protect her from her own life.

He realized he’d been too deep in thought and had lost the trail of the conversation when Cisco thrust his half-empty champagne flute into Harry’s hand and linked arms with Jesse.  They practically pranced onto the dance floor together. He watched fondly as they took up a wild cha cha, taking over the dance floor like they owned it. People moved out of the way for fear of being injured by their flailing limbs, and he couldn’t suppress a smile.

It slipped off his face as soon as the boy reminded him that he was there.

“Jesse’s a really special girl,” he said timidly, like he was trying to connect to Harry by appealing to his fatherly pride.

“She’s an exceptional woman,” Harry said, not really confirming or denying Wally’s statement. “She’s the smartest person I’ve ever met, and I know a lot of very smart people.”

“Yeah…” Wally started to agree, but Harry interrupted him.

“I don’t tell you that to brag,” he said, turning to fix an icy stare on the boy’s face.  Judging by the way he went pale, it was as threatening as he’d hoped for. “I tell you that because I want you to understand that Jesse is perfectly capable of running circles around you.”

“I do, Dr. Wells…”

“But you also need to understand this: Jesse will always be my little girl.  Always. And if you ever do anything to take the smile off her face, I will make you regret it.  There will be nowhere on this Earth you can run to to get away from me. Got it?”

Wally swallowed harshly, and for a moment Harry thought he was going to cry, and then he squared his shoulders and looked Harry right in the eye.

“I have no intentions of hurting Jesse, Dr. Wells. I like to see her smile too.”

And, as much as Harry enjoyed being able to intimidate people, he had to respect Wally’s willingness to square up and stare him down.  He wasn’t a wilting flower unwilling to face up to scrutiny. If he was serious about Jesse, that was a good quality to have.

“Good,” Harry said, lightening the tone of his voice. “I’m glad we understand each other.”

He flagged down a passing waiter and helped himself to a few canapés, which he washed down with a swig of champagne.  He saluted Wally with the glass and walked away with purpose. He didn’t have a particular destination in mind: it was just more dramatic to make a threat and walk away.

He caught Cisco’s eye from across the dance floor and grinned when his husband rolled his eyes.  Maybe this gala wasn’t  _ completely _ awful.

* * *

Cisco started losing pieces of his tux as soon as they were out the door of the venue.  His tie was pulled off and stuffed in his pocket, the pins that held his hair up into a neat bun were yanked out, and his jacket ended up draped over one arm all before the valet returned with the car.  He spent the first half of the car ride explaining in explicit detail all of the things he was going to do to reward Harry’s good behavior, and the second half passed out in the passenger’s seat, his head lolling with the motion of the car.

“We home?” he mumbled when Harry pulled into the garage and the motion lights flicked on, startling him awake.

“Yeah,” Harry said. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

He went around to Cisco’s side of the car and opened his door, leaning in to undo his seatbelt.  He had vivid images of doing the same thing for Jesse when she was just a little girl, though he doubted he would be able to carry Cisco to bed like he used to do for her.  Instead, he poked and prodded at him until he was on his feet and slid an arm around his shoulders to guide him. Cisco sighed happily and pressed his cheek against Harry’s chest as they walked.

Harry got him into the bedroom and helped him dress down to his undershirt and boxers before guiding him into their bed.  As Harry pulled the blankets over him, Cisco seemed to hit a sudden second wind, his eyes popping open.

“I promised you a blowie,” he mumbled, pushing at the blankets like he had every intention of getting up and delivering right that moment.  Harry laughed lowly, shaking his head in amusement.

“I’ll take a rain check on that,” he said, stroking Cisco’s hair out of his face fondly. “Go to sleep.”

As suddenly as the alertness had come, it was gone, and Cisco slumped down into the sheets, asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.  Harry pulled the blankets back up and pressed a kiss to Cisco’s temple. As he headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth, he couldn’t help but think about how utterly perfect his life had turned out to be.

* * *

Jesse didn’t know what to expect when she came hurtling through the portal to Earth-1, but she was willing to bet it wasn’t anything good.  It wasn’t that she didn’t keep in contact with Team Flash, but the only time her presence was requested was when the shit really hit the fan.  She had her own city to protect, after all, and her own STAR labs to run.

Only Iris was there to meet her in the breach room, which was also unusual.  She had expected her father, at the very least, and everyone at most. But it was just Iris, looking stunning as always, even with her face set in a troubled expression.

“What happened?” Jesse asked, her heart sinking. “Is my dad…?”

“He’s not dead,” Iris assured her hurriedly, and Jesse spared a hysterical thought at the idea of that being Iris’ first reassurance.

“But he’s not okay,” Jesse surmised.

“Not...exactly,” Iris said, biting her lip. “Maybe I should…”

Jesse was seized by a sudden, unbearable need to see her father with her own eyes, and she sped off towards the Cortex, leaving Iris in the dust.  She found her dad unconscious in the med bay, attached to an EKG machine and an IV drip. Cisco was on the cot next to him, equally as unconscious and rigged up.

“What happened?” Jesse asked, already feeling her throat closing up with panic.

“It was a meta,” Caitlin explained. “He came out of the woodwork yesterday and put two teenagers in the hospital.”

“What did he do to them?” Jesse asked.

“Well, that’s the weird part,” Caitlin said. “He just...put them to sleep.  He didn’t harm them otherwise, but they won’t wake up.”

“Why did he go after Dad and Cisco?” she asked. “Did they find him?”

“Well, that’s strange too,” Caitlin admitted. “They were just out on a coffee run when they were attacked.  Cisco was trying to breach him and Harry out of there when the meta grabbed him and they both just...collapsed. It was a random attack, wrong place wrong time.”

“And the meta just...left them there?” Jesse asked.

“Yeah,” Caitlin frowned thoughtfully. “Barry’s out seeing if he can find any clues on how to find him, but without Harry and Cisco it’s a little...slow going. I’m not as good with the computers and tracking as they are.”

“So you need me to help find this guy?” Jesse asked, adrenaline spiking in her system.

“Well, yes,” Caitlin said. “But we were also hoping you might be able to wake your dad up.  They’re not in a coma, but no matter what we do we can’t wake them up. I even tried shooting Cisco with adrenaline and he didn’t even move.”

She ran a hand gently over Cisco’s, a gesture that Jesse was sure wasn’t a conscious one.  She tried to take a deep breath and shove down her panic. She wasn't the only one with something to lose.  They all loved Cisco and her dad, they were all worried. She needed to keep a clear head.

“So...you think I can wake him up when nothing else did?” she asked doubtfully.

“It’s a long shot,” Caitlin admitted. “But if anyone is going to get through to him, it’s you.”

Jesse glanced down at her father, unnaturally still and silent, and tucked her hair behind her ear nervously.  It was worth a try, and it probably wouldn’t hurt anything if it didn’t work.

“Dad?” she said, leaning over him. “Dad, it’s time to wake up.”

She tapped his cheek with her fingers a couple times, like she had when she was little and she wanted him to get up and make her pancakes.  He’d always wake up and pretend to be asleep until she tapped him again, when he would snap his teeth at her fingers and roar while she giggled and tried to get away.

“Daddy,” she said, her voice choking up a little bit with the memory, “Please wake up.”

He stayed silent and unconscious, stubborn as ever.

“I’m dropping out of grad school, Dad,” she said, sniffling a little and clearing her throat. “And I’ve sold STAR Labs to Hartley Rathaway.”

She paused, waiting.  Nothing.

“I’m going to run away with a group of bikers and live in sin their leader because he’s the father of my unborn child. His name is Snake because he’s got a cobra tattooed on his face,” she added.  When even that didn’t make him stir, she looked up at Caitlin with frustration. “That’s all I’ve got.”

“Well, we knew it was a long shot,” Caitlin said, even as she hid a smile. “But you can still help.  You’re a Wells, after all. If you can’t track a metahuman with our systems, no one can.”

“Right,” Jesse agreed, trying to sound confident. She  _ was _ a Wells, and she was Jesse Quick.  Her dad said she was smarter than even him.  She could help him. She would help him.

She took a breath and marched across the Cortex to take a seat at Cisco’s computer.  She had work to do.

* * *

Harry glared at the bread poking out of the top of the toaster and then pushed the plunger down pointedly.  He let it go, and the bread sprang back up, untoasted. He glared harder. The plug was firmly connected to the outlet, and the coffee machine on the same circuit was working just fine.  He could hear Cisco chattering in rapid-fire Spanish in the next room, and he suspected that he knew exactly what had happened.

“Did you dismantle the toaster?” he called.

There was a long pause and then Cisco responded, “What?”

“The toaster,” Harry repeated testily.

“Oh,” Cisco said. “Yeah, a little. I made it better.”

“It doesn’t work, Ramon,” Harry responded, pushing the plunger and watching it pop back up again for emphasis.  Harry probably could have taken the thing apart and fixed it himself easily, but he was trying to make a point. 

Cisco heaved a loud sigh and then came into the kitchen, his phone propped between his shoulder and his ear, a screwdriver in hand.  He continued chatting in Spanish as he dismantled the toaster. Harry turned to make himself coffee instead, listening to Cisco talk out of habit, even if he didn’t understand a word of it, except for the occasional “yeah”s or “okay”s.

_ “Sĺ, Mamá,” _ Cisco said, screwing the cover of the toaster back on and the popping the bread inside. “ _ Te amo. _  Bye.”

“There,” he said to Harry, gesturing at the now-working toaster. “Will you survive?”

“Only if you stop cannibalizing our kitchen appliances when you’re stressed,” Harry griped back. “How’s your mother?”

“Same as always,” Cisco shrugged. “She spent twenty minutes catching me up on what’s happening on her telenovelas and I still have no idea what any of them are about.  Then she gave me a rundown of the latest family drama; my cousin Ana is a lesbian and her parents are not taking it very well. But hey, at least I’m not the only gay cousin anymore.”

“That is good news,” Harry deadpanned.

“Forreal,” Cisco agreed. “Also she wants us to come for Sunday dinner.”

Harry paused, wracking his brain for any sort of excuse he could come up with to get out of it, but unfortunately Cisco knew him too well.

“She’s already upset we don’t come every week, once a month will not kill you.”

“Will the cousins be there?” Harry asked weakly.

“When you married me, you married my gigantic Puerto Rican family,” Cisco informed him. “But no, the cousins won’t be there.  Just my parents and Dante, and Jesse, if she wants to come.”

“Why does Jesse get a choice?”

“Because she’s not my husband,” Cisco said flatly. “This is my family, Harry.”

“I know,”  Harry sighed. “And of course I’ll go. But as soon as your mom makes any cradle robbing references, all bets are off.”

“She hasn’t done that in months,” Cisco said. “And, to be fair, you’re the same age as her.”

“You’re a grown man,” Harry grumbled back.

“I am,” Cisco agreed. “And so are you, and that’s why you’re going to come with me to dinner at my parents’ house tonight and be on your best behavior.”

“I will if she will,” Harry said stubbornly.

“She’s making  _ chicharrones de pollo y arroz con gandules _ ,” Cisco wheedled. “You love  _ arroz con gandules. _ ”

And that was certainly true.  Harry didn’t exactly like Cisco’s mother, but she could cook with the best of them.  And Cisco loved her, so he couldn’t stand in the way of that. He could imagine what it would be like to be on the other side of that, some boyfriend keeping Jesse away from him because they didn’t get along.  It would make him crazy.

“I’ll be pleasant,” he sighed.

“Let’s not get crazy here,” Cisco said, coming over to kiss him in thanks. “I don’t know if you’ve ever been pleasant.”

Harry rolled his eyes but pulled Cisco in for another kiss.  He didn’t even notice when his toast popped.

* * *

The Ramon family home was a ranch-style house in a lower middle class neighborhood of Central City.  There was a nice garden out front that obviously received a lot of attention and a pristine looking welcome mat in front of the door.  The inside was tastefully decorated and clean, but there were signs of life everywhere; shoes by the front door, music books stuffed almost overflowing into the bookshelf next to the television, and enough pictures on the walls to build a shrine to the Ramon boys.

“ _ Mijo _ !” Mrs. Ramon cried when they let themselves in the front door.  She practically ran to meet her son, throwing her arms around him and squeezing him tightly before pulling back, grabbing at his face, and cooing, “Look at you, so handsome.”

_ “Hola, Mamá,” _ Cisco greeted, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

“Harrison, how nice to see you,” she said, moving in to press a polite kiss to his cheek as well.

“Maritza,” Harry responded, immediately feeling like he was at some boring function where he had to play nice and try not to smile like a shark smelling blood. “Thank you for having us.”

“Of course, of course, it’s family dinner,” she said, her smile sharp. “It’s nice when the family actually shows up.”

_ “Mamá,”  _ Cisco protested warningly, and she threw her hands up in exasperation.

“Don’t ‘ _ mamá _ ’ me, Francisco, I barely see my sweet boy anymore,” she said. “You could drop dead and I wouldn’t know for weeks!”

“I’d send you a copy of the obituary,” Harry said under his breath.  Apparently he wasn’t quiet enough because they both turned to look at him with molten glares.

“Your brother is setting the table, go help him,” Maritza commanded, and Cisco went without a word of protest.  Harry followed after him quickly, a little afraid of the type of trouble he could get into when left with Maritza alone for too long.

“That’s what you call pleasant?” Cisco hissed.

“We both know my people skills are lacking,” Harry responded darkly. 

Cisco rolled his eyes and nudged him with an elbow, but didn’t say anymore in favor of going to greet his brother.   They hugged tightly for a moment and then pulled away with a few manly shoulder slaps. Harry awkwardly let Dante hug him as well, even though he wasn’t overly fond of most people being in his personal space.

“How’re you doing, Old Man?” Dante ribbed, only a little facetiously.

Harry was well aware that all of the Ramons thought he was far too old for Cisco, and he was also grudgingly aware that they were probably right.  But they were both fully grown adults who could make informed decisions and they’d chosen each other. He’d never doubt or regret that.

“Fuck off, Dante,” Cisco grumbled.

“I’m only joking, Cisco, calm down,” Dante said dismissively. “We can’t all be cute enough to get a Sugar Daddy.”

“Oh my god,” Cisco groaned. “Just set the table, Dante.”

Harry seethed silently as he laid flatware at each place around the table, setting it just so.  He knew what people thought of their relationship, and “Sugar Daddy” was one of the less offensive things he’d been called in his life, but he hated the light in which it painted Cisco.  Cisco who was bright and vibrant, who danced like no one was watching and grinned so wide it threatened to crack his face open. They whispered that he married Harry for his money, that he slept with the boss to get his job as the head of R&D at STAR Labs.  Never mind that he made plenty of money in his own right, or that he was a genius mechanical engineer with a brilliantly creative mind, or that he’d had that position before they’d ever started dating. 

Cisco never seemed to mind the whispered accusations about his abilities and morality, but it made Harry’s blood boil.  Jesse often assured him that being overprotective was one of his many flaws, but he just couldn’t help himself. He wanted the whole world to see the wonderful, brilliant people he loved the same way he saw them, but some were too small-minded to ever manage it.

He tensed when he felt a hand rest against his back, and then relaxed fractionally when he realized it was Cisco trying to calm his nerves.  Clearly his emotions had been showing on his face more than he’d thought. He took a deep breath, squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, and then reached back to squeeze Cisco’s free hand.  Cisco returned the squeeze and patted his back simultaneously before taking a step back, but that was all it took for Harry to get his emotions back under control. It was aptly timed, too, as Maritza chose that moment to enter the dining room with her husband Hernando in tow.  They were each holding fragrant platters of food, which they set in the center of the table. It was a silent command to be seated, and Harry subtly maneuvered Cisco so that he was sitting across from his mother, with Harry next to him.

“Will Jesse be joining us tonight?”  Maritza asked suddenly. “Or is she too busy with graduate school?  How old is she now, Harry?”

“Nineteen,” Harry answered briskly, though they all knew that Maritza knew exactly how old his daughter was. 

“That’s right,” Maritza said nonchalantly, “Hardly younger than Francisco.”

“ _ Mamá,  _ I’m twenty-eight,” Cisco protested. 

“Did I tell you I’ve almost mastered that new piece I’ve been working on?” Dante piped up.  

Maritza’s face lit up at the idea of discussing the brilliance of one of her sons, and suddenly all her attention was focused on him.  Harry decided to forgive him for his gauche jokes earlier.

“How is Jesse doing?” Hernando asked, and Harry relaxed a little because he knew the question was genuine. Hernando thought Jesse was utterly delightful, which made him okay in Harry’s book. 

“She’s great,” Harry said, aware that he was perking up with pride. “Top of her class, of course, and about to clinch a paid internship with Mercury Labs.”

“Not STAR Labs?” Hernando asked, not unkindly.  

That was why Hernando was Harry’s favorite. He was good people, and non-judgmental. He’d been wary of Harry at first, as Harry would have been if Jesse brought a man twice her age home, but after the wedding he’d become downright pleasant. 

“Not even after months of me badgering her to,” Harry sighed. “She has concerns about nepotism.”

“Fair enough,” Hernando allowed. “A man should make his own way in the world. A woman, too.”

“I agree,” Harry said carefully. “But STAR is Jesse’s future. She’s going to run it one day, when I retire.”

Cisco snorted loudly, and Harry shot him an annoyed look.

“When you retire,” he repeated mockingly. “You could be on death’s door and you’d still show up at work to growl everyone into submission.”

Harry didn’t have a chance to respond because, unfortunately, the topic caught Maritza’s attention. 

“And how are things going for you, my little genius? Any interesting projects at work?”

“ _ Mamá,”  _ Cisco protested the nickname, though he was obviously pleased about it.

“Well, you are,” Maritza said unapologetically. “Graduating  _ summa cum laude  _ from MIT at 20 is nothing to dismiss so easily.”

“She’s right,” Harry pointed out.  Cisco rolled his eyes but his wide grin betrayed his real feelings. 

“So, what are you working on?” She asked.

“Well, it’s really cool,” Cisco started, and Harry cleared his throat harshly in warning, “and totally proprietary and top secret.”

“Francisco, we’re your family,” she wheedled. “If you can’t trust us, who can you trust?”

“It’s not about trust,  _ Mamá,”  _ Cisco sighed. “It’s about the contract I signed and the fact that I don’t want my husband to have to sue me. It’s clearly a huge conflict of interest.”

“As is sleeping with your boss,” Maritza said primly.

The table fell silent for a moment, and Harry clenched his jaw to keep himself from spitting back something that would certainly put him in the dog house. 

“I am working in a prototype at home for a freeze gun,” Cisco said, going for the distraction and sticking the landing.

“It sounds wonderful,  _ mijo _ , but what could you possibly need that for?”

“It’s more about scientific curiosity,” Cisco said. “Just to see if I can.”

“You can build anything,” Maritza said firmly. “You were dismantling my kitchen appliances when you were only three!”

Harry turned his glare on Cisco, who grinned unrepentantly and launched into a long-winded description of his latest project. Harry, glad to have Maritza distracted once more, turned his attention to his food. It was the best part of Cisco’s family, after all. 

* * *

Jesse let out a frustrated huff and resisted the urge to slam her fists in to Cisco’s keyboard.  He’d never forgive her if she broke it, and she was trying not to follow her father’s example as far as anger management went. 

She stared at the masses of blinking dots on the monitor, realizing for the first time just how many metahumans there were in Central City. They were practically uncountable, and she had no idea what filters and algorithms Cisco used to hunt down the right meta so quickly. She was starting to think it would be more effective to join Barry in running aimlessly around the city and hoping for the best. 

“Hey, why don’t you take a break?” Caitlin said, and Jesse looked up at her, blinking her eyes until they adjusted to the dim lighting of the cortex. The sun had set at some point, though she hadn’t noticed until now. 

She realized suddenly that her back ached from being in the same position too long, that her mouth was dry like the desert, and-most importantly-she was starving. 

“I can’t figure this out,” Jesse sighed, pressing her face into her palms in frustration. “I mean, this system is incredible and Cisco should be proud, but there are so many variables I don’t have that it’s basically useless to me.”

“Well,” Caitlin said, pursing her lips thoughtfully. “Maybe after you’ve eaten and taken a break, something will come to you. Come on.”

“What about…?” Jesse trailed off, glancing over towards the med lab where she could see Cisco and her father still peacefully slumbering on their cots. 

“They’re sleeping, there’s not much I can do for them except monitor their vitals,” Caitlin admitted. “And Iris wanted to use Cisco’s computer to do some research for an article anyway, so she’ll be around and will call right away if something happens.”

Jesse stood up, every part of her creaking in reluctant protest, and followed Caitlin out of the cortex.  They went to a diner down the street from STAR, a little dive of a place with a flickering neon “10 cent coffee” sign in the window and a little bell that jingled cheerfully when Caitlin opened the door.  There were only two other people inside: an older man with a bushy mustache who was bent over a plate of eggs Benedict at the end of the lunch counter and a waitress who wore a pink uniform and looked on the verge of falling asleep even as she scrubbed the counter down. 

“It doesn’t look like much, but their milkshakes and fries are to die for,” Caitlin assured her. 

“I could go for a milkshake and fries,” Jesse admitted, picking a chipped Formica table near the door and sliding onto the vinyl booth.

“The usual, Caitlin?” The waitress called. 

Their food--two milkshakes in steel mixing cups and a huge basket full of fries--arrived in short order and Jesse’s stomach growled angrily.  She downed half the fries and most of her chocolate banana milkshake before she knew it. Caitlin ate slower, dunking her fries into her strawberry milkshake and depositing them meticulously into her mouth so she didn’t drip all over her blue blouse.

“So I’ve been thinking,” Caitlin said, after Jesse finished off the basket of fries and the waitress brought them a new one. “Our best chance might be to contact Gypsy.”

“Gypsy?” Jesse asked, a little skeptically. “You mean...Cisco’s ex-girlfriend Gypsy?”

“Well…” Caitlin winced, like she hadn’t thought of that. “Yes. I mean, Cisco says they parted on good terms. And I was thinking she could vibe in and wake them up, kind of like when Cisco vibed into the Speed Force to find Barry.”

“But the Speed Force and the unconscious mind are two totally different things,” Jesse said, biting her lip. “The mind isn’t a place you can just...go.”

“My evil twin can freeze someone to death with skin contact,” Caitlin said dryly. “I think the commonly accepted physical limitations of humanity have been thrown for a loop since the Particle Accelerator exploded.”

“Fair,” Jesse allowed. “And I guess at this point it can’t hurt. Until we get some clue as to how to track down this meta, we can’t turn our noses up at any options we have.”

“Great,” Caitlin said. “Then I’ll work on getting in contact with Gypsy.  I’m sure she’ll help however she can.”

“Okay,” Jesse agreed, frowning down at her plate. “I’m gonna go for a run.  Clear my head.”

“They’ll be okay, you know,” Caitlin said with her very best bedside manner voice.

“Yeah,” Jesse lied. “I know.”

* * *

“You guys are late!” Caitlin admonished as Cisco and Harry slid into the huge circular booth across from her.  She’d taken the liberty of ordering drinks for them, and Harry threw his back in one large gulp, not even tasting whatever was in the glass.

“Wow,” Caitlin said, her eyebrows rising. “That kind of day, huh?”

“He’s stressed because we saw Jesse’s boyfriend buying condoms at the drugstore,” Cisco said with a grin that was far too amused for Harry’s taste.  As revenge, he snagged Cisco’s glass and tossed his drink back too.

“You’re such a dick,” Cisco sighed, but he stood up and headed to the bar.

“I mean...at least she’s being safe?” Caitlin offered hesitantly.

“I know,” Harry groaned. “And I know she’s an adult and everything else Cisco has reminded me of in the last twenty minutes.  But she’s my daughter and I’d prefer to believe that she’s innocent and...I don’t know, holding hands.”

“Holding hands,” Caitlin repeated, unable to hide the amused smile spreading over her face.

“Shut up,” Harry groaned, and Caitlin burst out laughing.

“I’m sorry you’ve had to find out that your daughter is a sexually mature woman…”

“Don’t say that,” Harry pleaded. 

“But you should take comfort in the fact that she’s very smart and they are being safe and that she’s got a good head on her shoulders.”

“I know that,” Harry griped. “But accidents happen and she’s so bright and she’s got such a big future ahead of her…”

“And she’s an adult who can make her own decisions,” Caitlin said gently. “There’s nothing you can do about this one, Harry.”

“I know, that’s what kills me,” Harry groaned. “She’s just...she’s so beautiful, and she’s always been good with people; she got that from her mother. I was never very good at it.”

“Oh I know,” Caitlin snorted. “We’ve known each other for three years.  You’ve been married to my best friend for two, and you still call me Snow.  It took you three weeks to remember Ronnie’s name and you called Cisco “Crisco” for three months like some weird courting ritual…”

“It wasn’t a courting ritual,” Harry muttered, even though privately he had to admit it kind of was.  He’d been attracted to Cisco from the start, and startled and entranced by his intellect. He’d just been too emotionally stunted to actually say anything about it, and had thus resorted to poking and teasing like a middle school boy, satisfied with any kind of attention he could get.

Caitlin shot him a disbelieving look and then said, “You were desperate for his attention.  Fortunately for you, Cisco was in to it.”

“I’ve admitted I’m not good with people, Snow, what do you want from me?” Harry grumbled. “My point is that Jesse has always been so good with people. She draws them in with her brilliance and they flock to her, but they never really understand her. And this boy...she’s going to fall in love with him and he’s going to break her heart.”

“That’s life,” Caitlin said gently. “You had your heart broken once, when Tess died.  Wasn’t she worth it anyway? Isn’t Cisco worth the risk now?”

Hearing her say his dead wife’s name out loud was almost like a shock to the system. No one ever dared mention her to him anymore.   Only Jesse, and she always called her “mom”. He hadn’t heard her name out loud in so long, and the way it felt surprised him. It felt like sadness and loss, but mostly it felt like fondness.  He’d loved her in a way he’d never loved any other woman, in the same way he loved Cisco now. But her loss didn’t tear him apart anymore, and he was able to remember her without wanting to die.

“Yes, she was worth it,” Harry admitted. “And Cisco is too.”

“Cisco is what?” his husband asked, plunking another glass on the table in front of him and pressing a quick kiss into his hair, almost like a habit.

“Worth it,” Harry assured him.

“Damn straight,” Cisco agreed.

* * *

Gypsy breached directly into the Cortex, looking around suspiciously as if she expected something to fly out and attack her.  Jesse supposed that was probably fair, since Team Flash always seemed to have someone knocking down their door.

“The beacon went off,” she said, shaking a small blinking disc at them. “I told Cisco not to call me unless there was an emergency.”

“Cisco didn’t call you,” Iris said. “We did.”

“If this is some weird attempt at intimidation because I broke up with your friend…”

“No, of course not,” Caitlin said quickly.

“What happened with you and Cisco isn’t our business,” Iris assured her. “But we’re at a loss, and we’re hoping maybe you can help.”

Gypsy looked at them all in turn for along moment and then she finally seemed to catch sight of Cisco’s prone form in the medlab. All at once her stone cold visage melted away and she looked afraid and heartbroken.  

“What happened?” she asked, clearing her throat.  As quickly as it had come, the vulnerable look was gone, faster than anyone but a speedster would be able to see.

Jesse let Caitlin and Iris explain what was happening, choosing instead to study Gypsy’s face as she listened.  It was all for naught, though. Gypsy had a top notch poker face, and she’d clearly decided to put herself into business-mode.  Whatever flash of emotion Jesse had seen in her face was gone now, and with it, Jesse’s opportunity to dissect it.

“I’ve seen similar dream spells before,” Gypsy said when they were done. “But never anything that could affect someone with the powers that Cisco and I have.”

She headed toward the medlab, looking down over Cisco and Harry with a critical eye, like she was expecting to see something unusual.

“What do you mean?” Iris demanded, following after her.

“I mean, we’re on a higher level of consciousness than most people, even other metahumans.  We can see between worlds and dimensions, and Cisco should easily be able to see that he’s dreaming.”

“So why won’t he wake up?” Caitlin asked.

“I don’t know,” Gypsy admitted. “But I might know someone who will.”

And without another word, she opened a breach and leapt through, leaving them all without a clue.  The next second, Barry sped in, coming to an abrupt stop right next to them.

“Anything new?” he asked.

Iris threw up her hands and stalked out of the med lab.

* * *

“Why do you have to be such a massive dickhead all the time?” Cisco snapped as soon as the front door was shut behind them.

“I’m sorry I’m not willing to lay down and let your mother walk all over me,” Harry seethed.  He stomped away towards the elevator that led down to their basement workshop, hoping to avoid the whole argument if he could just get away.  He knew what he’d said to Maritza was rude, but he wasn’t wrong. 

“Don’t walk away from me!” Cisco snapped, dogging at his heels. “I know what my mother is like, but you were really out of line.”

“Oh, I was out of line?” Harry demanded, turning to face Cisco, his blood rushing in his ears. 

“Yes!” Cisco snapped. “I expect it from her, but not from you…”

“So I’m expected to act like an adult, but she’s not?” Harry demanded. “Maybe that’s the real problem here, Ramon.”

“Oh,  _ Ramon _ ,” Cisco repeated with a sarcastic chuckle. “The problem,  _ Harrison _ , is that I asked one thing from you!  To be nice to my mother…”

“And to go to those insufferable family dinners when I’d literally rather get a root canal,” Harry shot back. “Where I have to sit and listen to your brother brag about his nonexistent music career and your father make awkward small talk, and your bitch of a mother…”

“Don’t you dare call my mother a bitch!” Cisco thundered, and Harry really knew he’d gone too far then.  He paused for a second and thought about retracting his statement, but then he saw the livid look on his husband’s face and knew he was already in way too deep.  The fastest way out was to keep going.

“I could think of several other choice words for her,” Harry spat. 

“God, it’s no wonder your daughter is your only friend,” Cisco growled. “Because you’re the biggest asshole I’ve ever met in my life.  In the end no one wants to be around you because all the looks and brains in the world can’t make up for your piss poor personality!”

That one struck a little too close to home, and Harry turned and swiped the stuff off the counter closest to him, just for the satisfaction of hearing it clatter to the floor.  Behind him, Cisco sucked in a breath and then laughed coldly.

“That’s right,” he said. “Show me how much you want to hit me.”

“I don’t want to hit you,” Harry growled.  He did kind of want to hit the wall, though.

“Throw a fit like the emotionally stunted child you are,” Cisco continued, as if he hadn’t heard. “I don’t know what I expected.”

“I don’t know what I expected, either,” Harry shot back. “But it certainly wasn’t the mother-in-law from hell.  If I had known about her before I married you, maybe I would have called the whole thing off. You’re not worth it.”

It wasn’t true in the slightest, but he knew it would hit Cisco right where it hurt.  Sure enough, he took a quick step back like he’d been struck and his eyes got watery, though his expression stayed angry.  The tears gave him a moment of vicious satisfaction, but it was quickly followed by overwhelming guilt. Cisco swallowed hard, and Harry opened his mouth to apologize, or take it back, or something, but Cisco interrupted before he could.

“Maybe you should have,” he said.

“Cisco…”

But Cisco didn’t stop to listen.  He just turned on his heel and went back out the front door, slamming it as hard as he could behind him.  Harry stood there silently until he heard the rev of an engine and the sound of Cisco’s car going down the driveway.  Only when things had gone completely silent again did he turn to the wall and put his fist through it.

* * *

Everyone froze when Gypsy came back through the breach with another woman in tow.  It wasn’t that she’d brought a stranger with her, but more that the stranger, underneath the heather gray hooded cloak, had Iris’ face.

“Well,” she said, looking at her Earth-1 counterpart. “This is interesting.  I’ve never met one of my doppelgangers before.”

“Team Flash, this is Sleeper Agent,” Gypsy said.

“Dahlia Allen,” Sleeper Agent said with a smile.

“Dahlia?” Iris repeated, obviously surprised. 

“Doppelgangers don’t always have the same names,” Barry pointed out. “Like my dad and Jay Garrick.”

“Right,” Iris nodded, biting her lip.  

She was clearly overwhelmed by the sight of her own face staring back at her, even if she’d had experiences with other people’s doppelgangers before.  Jesse couldn’t blame her; she thought if she met someone who looked exactly like her, she’d be unsettled as well.

“And of course I recognize you, Barry Allen,” Dahlia said. “But you two...I don’t recognize you.”

“I’m Jesse Wells, she’s Caitlin Snow,” Jesse said quickly, through with the chitchat.  If Dahlia knew how to fix her dad, she wanted it done sooner rather than later. Dahlia gave her a knowing look, but she didn’t seem offended.

“Show me your friends,” she said finally, and Jesse practically marched her towards the medlab.

“Pulse,” Dahlia said, sounding surprised and sad.  She reached out and stroked Cisco’s hair gently, a familiar gesture that had Jesse thinking the Cisco of her Earth had died a long time ago.  She cleared her throat and looked back at Jesse.

“How long have they been like this?” she asked.

“Since yesterday morning,” Caitlin said. “There have been three more victims since then, but no one ever seems to see him.”

“And we got reports a few hours ago that the first victims died.”

Jesse startled at that, not having heard that particular news.  She turned an accusing glare on Iris, who raised her hands defensively.

“I was going to tell you,” she insisted, but Jesse wasn’t sure that she believed her.

“Can you wake them up?” she asked Dahlia, going over to take Harry’s limp hand in hers. “He’s my dad.”

“It should be no problem,” Dahlia assured her with a smile.  

She pressed her palm to Cisco’s forehead and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.  They all watched her in hushed silence for a moment, and then her brow crinkled in confusion.  She popped an eye open and looked down at Cisco’s face. They watched, waited, but Cisco stayed stubbornly asleep.  He didn’t even twitch.

“What’s wrong?” Jesse asked.

“He’s not asleep,” Dahlia said.

“What do you mean, he’s not asleep?” Barry asked, gesturing to Cisco’s prone form as if to indicate that he was obviously not awake.

“I mean what I said,” Dahlia said. “If he were sleeping I would be able to feel it, but I can’t, so he’s not.”

“Then why is he like that?” Caitlin asked. “All his vitals are fine, and his brain waves are indicating REM…”

“Describe to me how they were attacked,”  Dahlia said.

“Well, the meta grabbed Harry by the arm,” Iris said, wrapping her hand around Caitlin’s bicep to demonstrate. “And Cisco had him in almost the same spot on the other side.  We think he was trying to breach them away, but it all happened so fast...”

“Ah,” Dahlia said. “That explains it.”

“Explains what?” Barry asked.

“It explains why Cisco isn’t asleep, and also why he can’t see past the illusion of the dream,” Dahlia said. 

“Does it?” Barry asked doubtfully.

“Yes,” Dahlia said, sparing him an amused smile. “It’s because he’s sharing Harry’s dream.”

“He’s vibing,” Gypsy said with realization. 

“Right,” Dahlia said. “To wake them both up, we have to wake up Harry.”

“Then do it,”  Jesse said, aware that she sounded like a bossy brat but not caring in the slightest.  Those kids had  _ died _ and her dad could be next while they all sat around chatting.

Dahlia raised an eyebrow at her but didn’t say anything.  Instead she moved around Cisco’s cot and over to Harry’s, placing her palm on his brow just as she had done for Cisco. She closed her eyes again, looking ethereal and zen for a moment.  Then, she cried out in pain and snatched her hand back like it had been burned.

“What happened?” Jesse demanded. “Is he okay?”

“Something is protecting the dream,” Dahlia explained, rubbing her palm ruefully. “Stopping me from ending it.”

“What does that mean?” Iris asked.

“Nothing good,” Dahlia said. “I’ve seen this once before; we call it Dream Eating. It’s a very powerful gift, but a very rare one.  As the victim sleeps, the meta absorbs the energy from their dream until they’re drained.”

“And that’s why those kids died,” Caitlin finished.

“So, then, what?” Barry asked. “We have to hope Harry will wake up instead of dying and maybe taking Cisco down with him?”

“I’m sorry,” Dahlia said, and Jesse’s heart pounded with panic.  

She couldn’t lose her dad. Sure, they had to live in different universes because of his clinginess, and sure, he could be cruel and single-minded at times.  But he was her dad, and he was all she had left.

“You have to do something,” Jesse said, her voice cracking with fear and anguish, the same way it had in those months she’d spent chained in Zoom’s lair.  She’d been terrified then, and she was just as terrified now.

“There’s nothing I can do,” Dahlia said. “To try and force my way in to wake him up would do him irreparable damage, if it didn’t kill him outright.”

“Not that, then,” Jesse said. “But there has to be  _ something _ .  A psychic alarm clock or…”

“Huh,” Dahlia said, looking thoughtful, and Jesse stopped talking in case she distracted her from her sudden train of thought. “I might have an idea.”

* * *

Cisco had been sleeping on Barry and Iris’ couch for a week before Harry cracked and went to find him.  The anger had run its course already, and for a while he’d been able to cling to the stubbornness of not being the one to apologize, but now Harry was ready to admit that he missed him.

Besides, Jesse had stopped by the day before and informed him that he was being a baby, and he couldn’t stand that she was right.

“Oh boy,” Barry said when he opened his front door and found Harry standing there.

“Allen,” Harry said. “I’d like to speak to my husband.”

“Uh…” Barry said, his voice going high at the end as he glanced around the edge of the door to where Cisco was obviously standing, just out of view. “Okay, sure.  Come on in.”

He stepped back and let Harry into the house, gesturing him towards the living room. Cisco was nowhere to be seen, no doubt waiting to make some dramatic entrance, as he was so fond of doing.  Harry rolled his eyes at the very thought, but he sank down on the couch to wait for it; it wasn’t the hill he was willing to die on.

“So...Cisco should be right in,” Barry said awkwardly. “I’m gonna...take Iris to a movie.”

Harry nodded at him and Barry practically ran from the room, flinging himself up the stairs with all the grace of a newborn giraffe, calling for Iris the whole way.  They’d both thundered back down the stairs and out the front door before Harry’s patience ran out.

“Are you just going to stand around forever waiting to make your entrance?” he asked the open air. “Maybe talk to me through the TV like that creepy puppet from those awful snuff films?”

“Saw is not a snuff movie, Harry, oh my god,” Cisco sighed, stomping into the room like an ill-tempered toddler. “And stop trying to distract me, I’m pissed at you.”

“I know,” Harry said, casting his eyes ceilingward. “I came to apologize.”

“Really apologize?” Cisco asked tersely. “Or do that thing where you say you’re going to apologize and then pretend that’s good enough?  Because it’s not, Harry. Not this time.”

“I know,” Harry said again. “I know I said some rude things about your family, and most of them were uncalled for.  And I said some cruel things--things I didn’t mean--to you, just because I knew they would hurt you. And I wanted to make you feel bad because I felt like shit and I’m an asshole.”

“You are,” Cisco agreed, crossing his arms defensively. “And I knew that about you.  I knew that you can be like that, but you hadn’t been to me in so long that I guess I just kind of forgot.  It was a little bit of a rude awakening.”

“Right,” Harry said, swallowing harshly, unsure of where Cisco was going with this. “I…”

“And I guess I just realized that there’s a lot of stuff we don’t talk about.  We take it for granted that we love each other so much everything will be okay, but it won’t be Harry.  Not if we’re not in this together.”

“We are,” Harry said, a little desperately. “We’re in this together, Cisco.”

“I want us to be,” Cisco said. “But this fight we just had? You lost it, at my mother and then at me.  You were a real asshole.”

“I know,” Harry started to say, but Cisco cut him off.

“And I was too.”

“What?” Harry asked, a little stunned.  He agreed, but he hadn’t expected Cisco to admit it.  He’d thought he was going to be the one grovelling for weeks, biting his tongue to save his marriage.

“You were right about my mom, Harry,” Cisco sighed. “And I knew that, but I was always so afraid.”

He paused then, glancing at Harry like he expected an eye roll or some judgment, but Harry did his best to keep his face blank.  Encouraged, Cisco continued.

“I’ve always been one of her kids, so I could do no wrong, but I’ve seen the way she talks to other people. And  I’ve always been terrified that she’d treat me that way. So I didn’t say anything when she was doing it to you. But...I shouldn’t let her treat you the way she treats you just because I’m afraid.”

“No,” Harry agreed. “You shouldn’t.”

“And I kept telling you to grin and bear all her pointed comments even though I knew it was really bothering you.  And even though you’re stubborn and you can be a huge jackass, I love you. And I don’t want you to be hurt because of something I do, ever.  So...I’m really sorry, Harry.”

“Me too,” Harry said, his voice sounding hoarse and awkward.  Even as he said it, he knew it wasn’t adequate after the speech Cisco had just given.  But that was how they worked, really. Cisco was the talker and Harry showed his feelings through actions, and for the most part it worked for them. But this time, Cisco fixed him with a flat stare, so he cleared his throat and tried again.

“I’m, uh...sorry that I was an asshole.  And that I say stupid shit and try to push you away when I’m feeling defensive. I never want you to be too far away.”

“God, that was almost sweet,” Cisco sighed, breaking into a little smile. “Come here and kiss me you emotionally constipated mess.”

Harry didn’t need telling twice.

* * *

“So...explain this to me again,” Joe said dubiously nearly twenty minutes later. “Slowly, with little words.”

“Harry is stuck in a dream of his perfect reality,” Dahlia said patiently. “And Cisco is stuck there with him, mentally. In order to save them, we have to wake them up, but I can’t wake Harry up because his conscious mind is protected behind a sort of wall.  I can see in to the dream, I can sense that he is dreaming, but I can’t reach him to wake him up.”

“But you think you can get around that,” Joe said slowly. 

Jesse wanted to yell at him.  To tell him he was wasting all their time, that she’d already explained everything and they should just do it already.  But Joe was nice, and he’d always been good to her. He looked out for everyone, and he didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of her version of the Wells temper.

“In a way,” Dahlia said, making a face that suggested it wasn’t quite so simple. “Instead of using my powers to force Harry awake, which could hurt him, I’m going to try and change the dream itself.”

“How would you change it?” Joe asked.

“Well, the thing about Dream Eating is that the victim is put into a perfect reality.  But it’s not so perfect that it seems too good to be true. There has to be some conflict and sorrow, because it needs to seem realistic to their brain. So someone who’s sense of self is based around something like being an orphan probably isn’t going to be fooled by a dream where their parents are alive. But within the parameters that their brain can accept as reality, the dream world seems perfect, so why would they want to wake up?”

“So you want to change something about the dream that will make Harry realize it can’t be real,” Joe said.

“Exactly,” Dahlia said. “I can’t reach his conscious mind, but I think I can fiddle with the unconscious part.”

“What could we change, though?” Barry asked. “We don’t even know what he’s dreaming about.”

“Well, we can find that out,” Dahlia said brightly. “Give me a moment.”

She placed her hand on Harry’s forehead just as she had before, but this time nothing seemed to strike out and hurt her.  Her face stayed serene until a small translucent scene seemed to rise up from his head like a hologram. There wasn’t any sound, but the scene was vivid, like they were looking through a window.

Cisco and her dad were curled together on a couch, Cisco’s legs kicked over her dad’s lap.  Harry was turned toward him, one hand curled in Cisco’s hair at the nape of his neck, and they were kissing.  And they weren’t desperate, hungry one-night stand kisses. They were sweet and soft, familiar kisses that were more about the experience itself than what they might lead to.  When Cisco raised his hand to cup Harry’s face, he was wearing a ring.

It was far too voyeuristic, and she felt sick, suddenly.  This was her dad’s idea of a perfect reality. Where he was married to Cisco and they were intimate and loving.  These were the kinds of things her dad kept deep in his head and never revealed to anyone, and now all their friends were watching as if her dad’s secret desires were theirs to consume at their leisure.

She was just about to tell Dahlia to stop it, to make the image go away, when she saw herself appear in it.  She watched herself grin and smack them with a couch pillow until they pulled away from each other. Cisco stuck out his tongue. She watched herself insinuate her way in between them, laughing the whole way, and her breath caught at the way her father smiled as he pulled her into his side and mussed her hair playfully.  She tried to remember the last time she had cuddled against his side like the dream version of her did, and she found she couldn’t remember.

“Stop,” she said, her voice cracking. “Stop it.”

Dahlia did what she said without question, the image flickering away immediately.  Jesse stared at the spot where it had been for a long moment, trying to get ahold of herself.

“So...wow,” Iris said into the silence of the room.

“I mean...we’re not really surprised, right?” Caitlin asked. “They’re...kind of obvious, if you think about it.”

“Well, yeah, but…”

“Can we not do this?” Jesse asked sharply. “It’s not our business, it’s theirs.”

“Right,” Joe said quickly. “There is no need to talk about that ever again, thank you.”

There was a round of apologies from the others, but Jesse wasn’t interested in their apologies.  She was interested in waking her dad up. And she knew exactly how to do it.

“When you erase part of the dream, will it erase his memory?” she asked.

“It shouldn’t,” Dahlia said, but she didn’t sound that certain. “Memory and dreams are very closely intertwined, so it’s not entirely impossible that he might not remember what I take away.”

“Right,” Jesse said, closing her eyes and taking a breath. Her decision was already made, anyway. “It’s me.”

“What’s you?” Barry asked.

“I’m what you should erase from the dream.”

There was a long silence while they all thought about what she said, but she knew what the outcome would be.  They would all come to the same conclusion she had, even if it took them a little bit longer.

“Jesse...what if he doesn’t remember you, after?”  Caitlin asked gently.

“It’s a risk I have to take,” Jesse said firmly. “I’d rather him be alive and have no idea who I am then dead, okay?  He’s my dad, and it’s my choice.”

“It makes sense,” Barry admitted, sounding grudging about it. “His love for Jesse is like 80% of Harry’s personality. Take that away and he’s just 20% bitterness and sarcasm.”

Jesse had to admit that kind of stung.  She felt like a spoiled brat for the way she treated her dad when he obviously cared for her so much.  He was a difficult man to get along with, and she knew she wasn’t entirely unjustified for her part in their rocky relationship, but still.  Now he was beyond her reach, and all she wanted was for him to smile at her and call her Quick.

“Are you sure about this?” Dahlia asked her, fixing her with a serious, dark-eyed stare.

“I’m sure,” Jesse said, and then she made herself watch as Dahlia did her work.

* * *

Cisco was standing in the kitchen, studying the desk calendar attached to the freezer door, when Harry entered in search of coffee.  It was a position Harry often found him in in the morning, though for the life of him he couldn’t understand why Cisco didn’t just use the calendar app on his phone.  He insisted it was because he liked being able to make sure he wasn’t forgetting anything in the morning, but Harry suspected it was just a hold-out habit from childhood.  He’d seen a very similar calendar hung in the Ramons’ kitchen before, after all.

“What’s going on today?” he asked, his voice still raspy from sleep.  He made a beeline for the coffee maker which had his favorite mug sitting in front of it, filled with the exact right amount of creamer.

“Not much,” Cisco said. “I thought we had a lunch meeting with someone, but I can’t remember, and I didn’t write anything down.”

“So probably not,” Harry said, because Cisco was anal-retentive about the calendar.  Also, they rarely scheduled meetings for weekends.

“Probably not,” Cisco admitted. “But I was thinking maybe we could turn our not-meeting into a date, what do you think?”

Harry thought longingly of the prototype he had been planning to tinker with down in their lab, but then dismissed the idea from his mind.  They were still walking on eggshells around each other after the big fight they had, and maybe lunch would help them take another step closer to being back to normal.  Besides, a lunch date might be nice.

“Sounds good,” he said, turning with his newly full cup and leaning against the kitchen counter. “The Phoenician?”

“I knew there was a reason I married you,” Cisco said approvingly. “I literally dreamed about Lebanese food last night.”

“Ready to leave by noon?” Harry asked, leaning down a little to accept the kiss Cisco came to give him.

“Perfect,” Cisco agreed, and then with one more kiss was gone.

Harry sipped his coffee, his mind already whirring with ideas for his prototype.

* * *

“You know, I still feel like I’m forgetting an appointment,” Cisco sighed a few hours later.  

He was nibbling on the edge of a grape leaf in a way that suggested he was only still eating because the food was there in front of him, rather than because he was hungry.  The waiter had already come by to ask if they’d wanted any dessert, and Harry was so full from his kebabs that he couldn’t imagine trying to eat another bite. Mostly, they were waiting to settle the check and basking in an opportunity to sit together and talk about something that wasn’t work.

“No one called demanding to know where we were,” Harry pointed out. 

“Yeah, I know,” Cisco sighed. “I just can’t shake it.”

“Maybe what you need is a distraction,” Harry said.

“Harrison Wells,” Cisco admonished with a sly grin. “Are you suggesting…”

“A walk through the park?” Harry asked, deadpan.

“Oh.” Cisco frowned and then brightened. “That sounds nice, actually.  Will you hold my hand and pretend you like me?”

“I suppose,” Harry said, heaving a put-upon sigh.  Cisco rolled his eyes and grinned.

With the check settled, they made their way towards the nearby park, their tangled fingers swinging lazily in between them. The slight tension Cisco had been carrying in his shoulders for days seemed to, finally, melt away entirely.

“I’m kind of glad about our phantom meeting going awry,” Cisco sighed as they stepped onto the walking path that wound around the circumference of the park. “It’s a nice day.”

Harry surveyed the bright green grass and blue cloudless sky and had to hum in agreement.  He’d planned on spending the day locked away in the basement, but this was much better. For a moment he even considered what it would be like to be walking a dog, even though he’d been battling Cisco for six months about not wanting to take on the responsibility. He pushed the thought away quickly, afraid that Cisco might somehow know what he was thinking and start the pestering anew.  Instead, he leaned his head against Harry’s arm for a moment and said, “I missed you.”

The statement might not have made sense to an outsider.  They lived in the same house, shared a bed, and worked in the same building.  They saw each other all the time. But Harry understood what he was getting at.  There’d been distance and tension, but now, under the sun, it felt like it was all back to normal again.  Like they could stop treading carefully and fall right back in to finishing each other's sentences and bickering.

“Me too,” Harry agreed, squeezing Cisco’s fingers tightly for a moment, because he was better with action than words.

They circled the park three times, chatting aimlessly about anything and everything. It was casual and good, which made it all the more jarring when they nearly tripped over a little girl who chased her ball on to the path in front of them.  She stopped to stare up at them with wide eyes, her lip wobbling just slightly like she wasn’t sure if she should burst into tears or not. Cisco recovered much more quickly than Harry did, pinning the girl with a bright smile.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked.

She nodded silently, still staring with wide eyes.

“You make a pretty good roadblock, kid,” Cisco told her. “Like a troll guarding a bridge.”

She scrunched up her nose at that.

“Not a troll,” she said indignantly. “I’m a scientist.”

“A scientist?” Cisco repeated, sounding surprised. 

“Yup,” she said proudly. “Like mommy.”

“Well that’s awesome,” Cisco cheered, holding out a hand for a high-five, which she granted enthusiastically. “Where is your mommy?”

“Over there,” the little girl said, waving unconcernedly at a woman who was walking toward them at a fast clip with a baby on her hip.  Cisco waved at her with a bright smile and the worried expression on her face eased a little bit.

“Are you bothering those men, Jessica?” she asked sternly.

“No,” Jessica said petulantly. “We’re friends.”

“What are your friends’ names?” she asked, still eyeing them carefully.

Jessica opened her mouth to speak, then frowned and craned her head back to look up at Cisco.

“What’s your name?” she asked.

“I’m Cisco,” he said, offering a hand for her to shake, which she did, giggling the whole time. “And this grumpy guy is Harry.”

“Mommy says I should take naps when I’m grumpy,” Jessica informed Harry seriously. 

“She’s probably right about that,” Harry offered, and she nodded seriously.

“I’m sorry if she’s been talking your ears off,” her mother offered apologetically. “She’s a bit of a chatterbox.”

“Sign of an intelligent mind,” Harry said, even though he had no idea where that had come from.  Judging by the way both mother and daughter beamed at him, though, it was the right thing to say.

The way the little girl smiled made something churn in Harry’s gut, and he was taken aback by it.  He’d never particularly wanted children; they’d always seemed too loud and sticky and needy, and he’d never had the time or patience for that kind of thing.  But something about the way she grinned up at him filled him with a sort of longing that he just couldn’t shake, like he’d been missing something his whole life and never realized it until this moment.

“Well, we’d better be going,” Jessica’s mom said. “Say good-bye Jess.”

“Good-bye!” Jessica sang, but Harry hardly heard it because he felt like he’d been sucker-punched in the chest.  He couldn’t really explain it, but he suddenly knew that something just wasn’t right.

“Hey, you okay?” Cisco asked, digging his elbow into Harry’s side with a concerned frown.

“Yeah,” Harry lied, trying to shove the feeling down.

“Are you sure?” Cisco asked, looking like he didn’t believe it for a second.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Harry said, firmly shoving the off-kilter feeling down and locking it away.

He was just being paranoid.  He had a life and a husband that he loved, and they were having a nice date in the park.  There was nothing wrong with his life. Everything was just the way it was supposed to be.

* * *

“He’s still not waking up,” Jesse said, disappointed.

It had been nearly an hour since Dahlia had blocked her out of her dad’s memory, but he didn’t seem to have had any changes in his alertness.

“Give him time,” Dahlia admonished. “It’s not easy to fight against a dream eater. If he’s as smart as everyone says, he’ll find his way back to you.”

“Sorry,” Jesse said sullenly. “I guess I just thought he’d immediately know I was gone.  That without me, the world was wrong.”

It sounded childish as she said it out loud, but she couldn’t deny it was true.  For as long as she could remember, she’d been the center of his world. The most important thing to him, always.  Even when he was driving her crazy with his overbearing protectiveness, she knew that. He wasn’t always an easy man to get along with, but he’d always been a good dad.  The idea that there could exist a place where he could still see a reality as perfect without her there hurt.

“He might have,” Dahlia said. “But his mind is actively working against him to keep the dream going.  He might figure it out and forget several times before he’s able to wake himself up.”

She didn’t say that he might not be able to wake himself up at all, but she didn’t have to. The idea hung in the air over Jesse’s head like the sword of Damocles. The idea that she could be an orphan, that she could lose her dad to something so stupid as circumstance...she couldn’t think about it.

“Hey guys!” Iris said suddenly, sitting upright in her chair. “Dream Catcher has struck again!”

“Dream Catcher?” Caitlin asked, and Iris wrinkled her nose.

“I know Cisco makes the names, but we had to call him something,” Iris said defensively. “And, guys, we got his face on camera.”

That stopped them all short for a long moment, and then Jesse burst across the room as fast as she could go, sliding into the seat next to Iris and running Cisco’s facial recognition software.

“Got him!” she exclaimed, while Iris blinked in surprise from the sudden burst of wind next to her. “Jason White, 328 Bleecker st.”

“Let’s go,” Barry said, already suited up. Jesse nodded at him seriously, heart in her throat, and they took off.

* * *

Harry didn’t look up from the designs on his tablet when a familiar rat-a-tat-tat sounded on his office door.  It was already opening anyway, so it wasn’t like he had to acknowledge it.

“Hello husband-mine,” Cisco trilled, sucking on a lollipop he’d no doubt scavenged from Shannon’s stash. “Are you ready to head home?”

“Not quite,” Harry mumbled, not tearing his eyes away from the screen. “You go ahead, I’ll call a car.”

“Babe, it’s 7:30,” Cisco said, and Harry could practically hear the frown in his voice.

“I’ve just got some more designs I wanted to review,” Harry said, making a quick note and then flipping to the next one.

“Harry, will you please look at me for a second?”

The tone in Cisco’s voice was enough to give him pause, and he lifted his eyes from the blueprints on his screen to look his husband in the face.  He almost winced a little at Cisco’s expression, which was one part annoyed and two parts concerned. He hated it when Cisco looked at him like that, because it was almost always followed by a conversation about emotions.

“I’m fine, Cisco,” he assured him, and Cisco scowled.

“You’re not, though.  Something has been bothering you for weeks, I can tell.  I thought things were getting back to normal…”

Harry grimaced, hating that his weird, inexplicable funk was getting to Cisco as well as him. He just had this feeling that he couldn’t shake, and he’d tried so hard to ignore it, but obviously he’d failed.  He didn’t want Cisco to think that he was still holding a grudge over their fight, but he didn’t quite know how to explain his weird mood.

“...can you just tell me what’s going on with you?  Maybe I can help.”

Harry sighed and set his tablet down so that he could press his palms against his eyes.  He hadn’t realized it until now, but he had a huge headache coming on, pressing up behind his eyes and throbbing in his temples.

“I just feel like I’m missing something,” Harry said, trying to put the nagging, empty feeling that had lived like an angry beast in his chest for weeks into words. “Like...something isn’t right.  Like I’ve forgotten to do something really important but I can’t remember for the life of me what it is.”

“Do you think you’re really missing something?” Cisco asked, coming over to sit on the corner of Harry’s desk. “Or just being paranoid?”

“I don’t know,” Harry admitted. “Sometimes I feel like I’m losing my damn mind.  Something isn’t right, I know it. I just...I don’t know what it is. It’s almost like someone took a part of me and ripped it right out, and I can function without it but everything is different.  It’s hard to explain.”

Harry realized his hands were shaking, and he clenched them in to fists to try and get them under control.  He’d been trying to avoid thinking about this for weeks, just funneling all of his attention into his work so that he wouldn’t drive himself crazy trying to figure out what wasn’t there.  And he was tired. Fucking exhausted, if he was being honest. He’d been so hyperfocused before that he hadn’t really noticed, but now as he leaned back and viewed it objectively he couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept peacefully, or even relaxed.

“Okay,” Cisco said, his voice almost a coo, like he thought if he spoke too harshly Harry would crack.  And maybe he would. Anything seemed possible at this point. “Why don’t we go home and get some sleep, okay?”

He reached out and rested his hands gently on Harry’s cheeks, grounding him with his warmth and comfort.

“I’m not sleeping well,” Harry admitted.

“I know,” Cisco assured him, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. “You toss and turn a lot.  But I’ll text Shannon and let her know not to bother you unless the Labs are burning down and I’ll text my team and let them know I won’t be in tomorrow, and we’ll just lay in bed all day and relax and try to see if we can’t get your brain to settle down a bit.  Sound good?”

And despite everything, Harry had to admit that it sounded wonderful.  Maybe he was just stressing himself out so much that his brain was convinced he had to be missing something.  Maybe just taking the time to slow down and focusing all of his attention on Cisco and home and peace would make the persistent feeling go away.  And even if it didn’t, he could hardly count time spent in bed with his husband as wasted.

“Sounds amazing,” Harry admitted.

“Good,” Cisco said, rewarding him with another kiss, this one pressed firmly against his lips. “Now let’s go home.”

Harry kissed him again, just because he wanted to, and let Cisco lead him out to the car.

* * *

Jason White wasn’t the hardened criminal and murderer Jesse expected.  When she and Barry arrived in his apartment, he’d dropped his bowl of Lucky Charms with a shriek, splashing milk everywhere and leaving the bowl to skitter around on the dirty kitchen linoleum until it settled in the corner under the sink.  He was wearing Pittsburgh Steelers pajamas and looked like he hadn’t shaved in several days. He was young, Jesse realized as she watched him. Maybe even her age.

“Oh man,” he said plaintively, looking at them both. “Oh man.”

“Jason White,” Barry said authoritatively. “We need…”

“Oh man!” Jason said again, clenching his hair in his hands and rocking back on his heels. “I didn’t mean it, dude!”

Barry faltered, clearly at a loss, and glanced at Jesse.  She shrugged in response. It could be a ploy, to try and get their guards down, but somehow she didn’t think so.  He didn’t look quite that cunning.

“Didn’t mean what?” Barry asked carefully, like he was almost afraid to find out.

“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen,” he said plaintively. “You’ve gotta believe me! I just couldn’t help myself!”

“That’s not good enough,” Jesse snapped. “People are dead because you can’t control yourself.  My...people we care about are dying!”

“I’m sorry!” Jason said, his eyes getting teary.  It was almost pitiful, standing there in his dirty kitchen, watching him blubber in his milk-soaked bear paw slippers. “I didn’t mean to!”

“Why didn’t you turn yourself in?” Barry asked sternly.

Even through his tears, the incredulous look Jason gave him conveyed exactly how stupid he thought that question was.  He gaped a little bit and then sputtered before saying, “Because I was scared, dude! Metas don’t get community service, they get hard time in Iron Heights, if they don’t just disappear off the face of the Earth!”

Barry opened his mouth and then apparently thought better of it and snapped it closed again.  He had a point, even if they didn’t like to admit it. The collateral damage caused by an out-of-control meta wouldn’t be appeased by picking up trash on the side of the highway.  Especially not with a body count.

“Okay, I see what you’re saying,” Barry said, with his very best doe eyes in full force. “And I understand that you’re scared and that you didn’t mean to hurt anyone.  But people are hurt, Jason, and more will be if you don’t do something.”

“But I can’t!” Jason insisted, taking a hesitant step away from them, like he thought they might leap at him and force him to the ground.  Honestly, Jesse hadn’t completely written the idea off. “I didn’t even know I was doing it at first and then once I figured it out I tried to stop but I can’t! I just like...black out!”

“I get that you’re freaked out,” Barry said. “But I think I know someone who can help you.  I promise you I will do everything I can to make sure they don’t lock you away and throw away the key, okay?  But I need you to cooperate with me.”

“Okay,” Jason said, looking pained even as he said it, like he knew he didn’t really have a choice.

“Okay?” Barry repeated, and Jason heaved a huge sigh.

“Yeah,” he said. “Okay.”

* * *

There was a girl sipping coffee in Jitters, and Harry couldn’t stop looking at her.

She was a pretty girl, with shoulder length brown hair and green eyes striking enough that he could tell their color from across the room.  She was young, probably barely of age, but the text books stacked in front of her suggested she was taking graduate level physics classes. Still, there wasn’t anything particularly remarkable about her.  She wasn’t doing anything interesting, just staring out the window and sipping occasionally from her mug. 

The only thing that really drew Harry’s attention was that he kept seeing her everywhere.  She’d been in the lobby of STAR last week, and he’d passed her on the street on his way to a food truck at lunch the day before.  She’d been sat three seats down at the movie theater a few days ago when he and Cisco had gone to see the newest Star Wars film. He supposed it could be a coincidence.  Maybe they lived in the same area and he only noticed her because he had started looking for her, but Harry was a man of science and he was hesitant to call anything a coincidence. 

“Wow, Earth to Harry,” Cisco said, sliding a mug onto the table in front of him. “You’ve been staring into that corner since I left.” 

Harry tore his eyes away from the girl and turned to look at his husband, who was enthusiastically licking the whipped cream off the top of his sugary monstrosity of a coffee.

“Just...lost in thought,”  Harry said.

“You sure you’re okay?” Cisco asked, the beginnings of a frown appearing. “You’ve been kind of out of it the last few days.

“I’m fine,” Harry assured him.  “A lot on my mind.”

“Still feeling like something’s missing?” Cisco asked, his voice pitched a little lower.

“Yeah,” Harry admitted grudgingly, hating the way it made Cisco frown.

He glanced back towards the girl in the corner, only to find that she and all of her things were gone.  There wasn’t even an empty mug on the table to indicate that she’d ever been there at all. Harry cast a look around to see if he could catch sight of her leaving, but there was no trace of her.  It was like between one second and the next she’d disappeared into thin air. He wasn’t sure what to make of it. Maybe she’d never been there at all and he was just losing his mind.

He tried not to frown as he focused his attention back on Cisco, who was cheerfully telling him some story about something funny he’d seen while in line. It was clearly a distractionary technique, trying to take his brain off of his thoughts, but it wasn’t quite working.  Mostly his voice just kind of melded into the background, a slightly familiar hum in the back of Harry’s brain that didn’t really make any sense. He tried to pay attention to what he was saying, but he just couldn’t make his brain focus.

All he could think about was the girl.  The shape of her face and the squint of her eyes as she watched people pass by outside. Someone else might have mistaken it for attraction, but he knew that wasn’t it.  She was beautiful to be sure, but he’d never felt less attracted to someone in his life. It was more like a indescribable, nagging feeling deep in his gut that he just couldn’t shake.

It almost felt like he knew her.

* * *

Jason looked small and terrified seated in a chair in the center of the Cortex with the whole team surrounding him. Combined with the pajamas and bear slippers that Barry hadn’t given him a chance to change out of, he looked kind of pathetic.  Jesse idly thought about how lucky he was her dad wasn’t awake. He’d probably wet himself in fear at the full brunt of the Harrison Wells glare.

But her dad not being awake was the whole problem.

Dahlia was surveying him with a stone-like gaze, he expression unscruitable.  It was an expression she’d seen on Iris’ face plenty of times, but with none of the compassion that she always had under the surface.  It was clear that Dahlia had seen some shit, and that she had very little patience for it. Jason shrank away from her, like he thought if he lowered his head into his shoulders a little bit more he might be able to sink through the floor and escape.

“So you say you don’t even know what you’re doing?” she asked, her disbelief clear in her voice.

“I swear!” Jason said quickly. 

“That’s some pretty powerful dream spell for someone who doesn’t know what he’s doing,” Dahlia retorted.  She crossed her arms over her chest and fixed him with a glare so cold even Jesse shivered.

“I don’t know what to tell you, man,” Jason said miserably, still not meeting her eyes. “I just...I don’t know it’s like I’m starving?  Like when you binge Call of Duty for 12 hours and forget to eat and then you smell food and you’re pretty sure your stomach is gonna start eating itself?  Like that.”

“Right,” Dahlia said slowly. “So then you get so hungry that you lash out and eat the first thing you come across?”

“Yeah, I guess,” he said sullenly. “After I realized what I was doing I decided to just stay home.  Like, if there’s no one around I won’t be tempted to hurt them, right? But I kept blacking out and when I woke up there’d be news of another attack and I...I didn’t know what to do.”

His eyes watered then, and he sniffled loudly as he tried to brush the tears away with his shoulder, like he had any dignity left to protect.  As angry as she was, even Jesse was moved by his quivering jaw. She’s always been a bit of a soft touch, and watching someone cry while tied to a chair was getting to her.

“How old are you, Jason?” Dahlia asked, her voice softening just in the slightest. If Jesse hadn’t known Iris, she might not have been able to tell, it was so subtle.

“Eighteen,” Jason sniffled.

“Okay,” Dahlia sighed, pressing her fingers to her temples and squeezing her eyes shut. “Shit.  Okay. Do you know how to reverse it?”

“No!”  Jason said, almost a shout. “If I could, don’t you think I would have? I don’t even know how I’m doing it in the first place!”

Dahlia turned and looked at Barry a little helplessly and he stepped forward to take over talking.  He didn’t get any different answers than Dahlia did, though, and the longer they want on, the more agitated Jason got.  By the time they realized he was going to be of absolutely no help, he was practically sobbing and incoherent.

He wouldn’t do them any good, but they couldn’t just let him go.  He wasn’t in control of himself, and people were dying, but it didn’t seem right to take him to Iron Heights, either.  At least not until they figured everything out. In the end they decided to lock him up in the pipeline to keep him from hurting anyone else.  When they told him what they were going to do, Jason acted as if they’d sentenced him to death. He blubbered the entire way down, begging them not to lock him up and to let him go home, and even Jesse’s hard, angry heart shook to the core when the door slid shut and cut off the sound mid-sob.

“He’s just a kid,” Barry sighed, sounding exhausted.

“It’s not forever,”  Iris assured him gently. “Just until we can figure out how to help him.”

“I guess,” Barry said, unconvinced.

“And what about Harry and Cisco?” Caitlin piped up.  Jesse shot her a grateful smile, glad that she wasn’t the only one who cared. 

“I guess we’re back to square one,” Dahlia sighed. “Hoping that Harry wakes up on his own.”

“Well,” Joe said into the silence. “Shit.”

* * *

There was a crying little girl in Harry’s drive way.

She couldn’t be more than six years old, and she was wailing on the cement, her big green eyes wet with tears and a rough red patch on her left knee.  A bicycle was toppled over on its side next to her, and when she looked up and saw him, she wailed louder and reached for him.

He didn’t know what compelled him to rush to her side and scoop her up into his lap, but the way her little arms gripped tight around his neck felt right.

“Where are you hurt?” he asked her, pulling away a little bit to look her over for any more bumps and bruises.

“M-m-my kneeeeee,” she sobbed, and he breathed a sigh of relief and pulled her close again.  Skinned knees were inconsequential. As long as she wasn’t broken, everything would be fine.

“You’re okay,” Harry assured her, scooping her up in his arms and walking back towards the house. “Come on, we’ll get this cleaned up J--”

…

“I’m bored.”

Harry exhaled sharply through his nose and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Then do your homework,” he said tersely.

“I did it already.”

He opened his eyes again and stared at the equation he was struggling through on his dry erase board before turning to look at her.  Her hair was pulled up in a messy ponytail and her purple, flower-covered backpack was sitting innocently at her feet, unopened.

“You did it already,” he repeated flatly.

“Uh huh,” she said. “I did it at school.”

“When at school?” Harry asked suspiciously.  She was only eight, it wasn’t like she had a studyhall.

“During class,” she shrugged. “It was boring.”

He sighed, capped his marker, and went to join her at the table.  This was something he understood, at least. Vaguely, from memories long, long ago when he’d also been bored in school.  Though his boredom had always culminated in more destructive behavior than finishing school work early.

“Are you always bored at school?” he asked.

“Not always,” she said, shrugging again. “I like recess.”

“But during class?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she said. “It’s all really easy.”

“Okay,” Harry said, thoughtfully. “Well, why don’t I show you some of what I’ve been working on?”

“Really?” she asked, her face lighting up.

“Really,” he said, his heart swelling with fondness and love.

…

Harry thought it should have been raining.  On a day like today, it should have been raining.

“She’d like that the sky is blue,” she said, taking his hand.  Her voice was wobbly, like she was trying too hard to talk past a huge lump in her throat.

He understood that.

“She would,” he agreed, his voice just as weak.  He squeezed her fingers, probably too tightly, but she just squeezed back.

“What are we gonna do?” she asked, her voice small.

Harry’s voice caught in his throat and his heart clenched up in his chest.  The feelings twisting inside him were too many; anger, sadness, betrayal, guilt, and above all, bone shaking fear.  What was he supposed to do without Tess? How was he supposed to manage on his own?

“I don’t know,” he said.

…

“Why are you being such a dick?” she demanded, her eyes flashing angrily.

“Oh nice,” Harry scoffed. “That’s the way to talk to your father.”

“You’re not being fair!” she insisted, ignoring his pointed comment.

“Being fair isn’t my job,” Harry told her sternly. “And I said no.”

“But why?” She looked about a moment away from stomping her foot angrily, which reassured him that he was making the right decision.  She just wasn’t old enough.

“Because I don’t like this boy and I don’t want you out alone with him in the middle of the night,” he said.

“We’re going out for dinner, I’ll be out til ten at the latest!”

“You’ll be home in your room,” Harry corrected.

“Daddy,” she said. “Please.  I’m not a little kid, I’m sixteen.  We’re going to get some food and maybe hold hands in a totally public space and then come home.  It’s not unreasonable.”

“I said no--”

...

Harry gasped himself awake, drenched in sweat, his heart thumping crazily in his chest.  The room was dark, and the clock projected on the ceiling above his bed showed that it was just past three am.  Cisco was fast asleep beside him, curled into the fetal position and drooling into his pillow. His peaceful presence settled Harry’s frazzled nerves a bit, and he turned on his side to  watch Cisco’s face in the darkness as he tried to get his heart rate down and parse through his dreams.

That girl...she was the girl he’d been seeing all over town.  He recognized her even as a small child wailing on the sidewalk; those green eyes were unmistakable.  

And he knew her.  She was his daughter.

He didn’t know how, but he knew she was.  He knew it like he knew his own name, but he didn’t understand how he could have forgotten her.  How she seemed to have disappeared from his life leaving no memories behind. It was irrational and insane and he should probably get himself committed, but he just knew.   She was his daughter, his little girl.

“Jesse,” he whispered into the darkness.

* * *

Jesse didn’t know what to do.

The Big Bad had turned out to be more scared and out of control than bad, and they had ensured that he wasn’t going to hurt anyone else.  Gypsy had taken Dahlia and gone back to her universe to see if she could find someone who knew more about Dream Eating who might be able to help them.  Everyone else, save for Caitlin, had gone home to get some sleep in preparation for their day jobs. Caitlin had elected to stay so that she could keep an eye on her patients and their vitals.

But there wasn’t much for Jesse to do. There was no one to hunt down, no one to stop.  Nothing to do but wait. 

She hated waiting.

She’d tried to spend the time in various ways, but watching movies had proved to be impossible without Cisco making comments and watching her face to see if she was enjoying it properly.  She couldn’t focus on her school work without thinking about countless afternoons spent in her dad’s office learning about anything he was willing to talk about. Even eating hadn’t managed to distract her, but she’d forced some food in her mouth because she’d done too much running not to.

In the end, she’d just pulled up a chair in the med lab between the two cots and held on to her dad’s hand.  It wasn’t doing anything; it didn’t even make her feel better. But she didn’t know what else to do, so she sat there listening to Caitlin as she read her medical journal and made thoughtful humming noises.  At one point Cecile came in with coffee for them, but Jesse left hers largely untouched. She already felt like she was going to vibrate out of her skin, and caffeine certainly wouldn’t help. 

Eventually, as the hour grew small, she started to drift, her eyes growing heavy and her head ducking down towards her chest with exhaustion.  She was nearly asleep, her head tipping precariously closer and closer towards her father’s arm, when she heard it. At first, she thought maybe she was dreaming, in that place between sleep and awake where things weren’t quite real.  But then, she heard it again, a little clearer. Her name. From her dad’s mouth. Suddenly, she was wide awake.

“Dad?” she said, sitting up right and looking at his face.  He still looked asleep, his eyes closed and his face seren, but she’d heard him say her name.

“Jesse?” Caitlin asked, looking up from her journal.

“He said my name,” Jesse told her excitedly. “I heard it!”

“He’s still in REM,” Caitlin said doubtfully, looking at the monitors. “It’s late, are you sure…”

“Caitlin, I wasn’t dreaming, I heard it.  He said it twice! He’s not even supposed to remember me, but he said my name!”

“Well...maybe whatever Dahlia did is working,” Caitlin said, leaning over to lift up Harry’s eyelid and frowning at the movement of his eyes. “He’s definitely not awake, but maybe he will be soon.”

“Maybe,” Jesse said, a little breathless with the new hope springing up inside her.

It was tiny, but a tiny bit of hope was better than the despair that had been swallowing her all day.  It was enough to get her through the next few hours, at least.

* * *

“We’re going to get lunch,” Cisco said, flopping down in the visitor’s chair in Harry’s office.

“Are we?” Harry asked dryly, looking away from his notes to raise his eyebrows at Cisco.

“Yep,” he said, matter-of-factly. “Because you need to eat and you’ve been way out of it lately and it’s kind of freaking me out.  And I’ve found you talk better when I ply you with food and affection first.”

Harry had to fight to suppress his smile as he looked at Cisco’s sunny expression.

He was always bluntly, perfectly honest, and that was one of the reasons Harry loved him so much.  He was upfront and Harry always knew that he could ask his opinion and get a real answer, even if it wasn’t always what he wanted to hear.  But he also cared so very deeply, as was evidenced by the tinge of genuine worry in his eyes. Cisco loved him and cared about him, and he wasn’t trying to hide that he was worried and thought they had to talk.

And Harry wasn’t going to deny him.

“Okay,” he agreed. “Now?”

“Is now a good time?” Cisco countered.

“You’re here,” Harry shrugged, because it didn’t really matter to him.  There was nothing he couldn’t stop right in its tracks if Cisco needed him to.

“Yeah, but I can come back,” Cisco said, unconcerned. “If you’re doing something important.  It was worth the trip just to see your pretty face.”

Harry rolled his eyes, and Cisco grinned, obviously very pleased with himself.

“Now is fine,” he said, firmly.

They decided on a Korean Barbecue food truck that frequented the corner down the street and got an order of Bibimbap and Goon Mandu to split between them.  Harry hadn’t realized how hungry he was until they were seated at a park bench with their food spread out between them, the scent of cabbage and ginger and garlic clinging to his nose.  They spent about ten minutes eating silently, ravenously, and it was only as they were fighting each other for the last dumpling that Cisco spoke up.

“So?”

“I don’t know,” Harry answered honestly, furrowing his brow thoughtfully. “Something just seems off.”

“Still?” Cisco asked. 

“Yeah,” Harry sighed, a little annoyed.  He’d felt like he’d had some sort of epiphany in the middle of the night a few days before, but when he’d woken again in the morning it had been gone from him, like sand slipping through his fingers. “I’m missing something, and I know whatever it is is very important. Once I figure it out everything will fall back into place, I’m sure of it.”

“I understand,” Cisco said, nodding sagely. “I’ve felt that way with some of my designs before.  Like it just doesn’t click quite right, and then you figure out one piece and it’s perfect.”

“Exactly,” Harry said, grateful once again that Cisco just seemed to get him.

“So...do you have any guesses?” Cisco asked. “Do you need another superfluous PhD?”

Harry snorted a laugh, but otherwise chose to ignore that comment.

“I don’t…” he started to say, but then stopped mid-sentence when he saw her.

She was walking down the sidewalk with her nose buried in a textbook, but as soon as he saw her, it all snapped back into his brain.  He’d forgotten  _ again _ .  How could he have possibly forgotten again?

“Jesse,” he said, dropping his chopsticks and jumping to his feet.

“Who?” Cisco asked, confused, but Harry didn’t answer.  He was too busy chasing after the brown hair bobbing through the crowd to heed Cisco calling after him in confusion.

“Jesse!” he yelled, but she didn’t acknowledge that she’d heard him.  

He cussed angrily as a group of chatty teenage girls passed in front of him, putting even more distance between him and his daughter who he just couldn’t seem to manage to cling on to.  He shoved through them, causing them to squawk and call him an assortment of nasty names, but he didn’t care. He was losing Jesse. He was losing her again.

He finally broke free of them and put on an extra burst of speed, catching up to Jesse and grabbing her elbow to wheel her around.  She gasped loudly at his harsh movement, dropping her book to the pavement and turning to stare up at him with big brown eyes that looked simultaneously scared and enraged.  

Not Jesse.

“I’m sorry,” Harry said, letting the girl go and taking a few steps back. “You’re not...I thought you were...Sorry.”

She stared him down for a long moment and then reached down to snatch up her book.  She scurried down the sidewalk at a fast clip, glancing occasionally over her shoulder at him as if afraid he’d still be following her every time she looked.

“What the hell was that?” Cisco demanded breathlessly when he caught up.

“I thought she was someone else,” Harry said dumbly, his brain whirring in overtime.

“Who?” Cisco demanded.

“My daughter.”

Cisco gaped a him wordlessly, his mouth opening and closing a few times silently.  It was unusual, since Cisco always had something to say about everything. Harry had never seen him at a loss for words like this before, and he had to admit that he couldn’t really blame him.  Talk about a bombshell.

“I’m sorry…”  Cisco squeaked finally. “Who?”

“My daughter,” Harry said again. “It’s...complicated.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Cisco said. “How...how long have you had a daughter?”

“I don’t know,” Harry admitted, which didn’t seem to make Cisco feel any more reassured about the situation.

“How do you not know?”

“It’s...it’s...I can’t really explain it,” Harry said, frustrated. “Not here.”

“Then let’s go home,” Cisco said shortly.

“You’ve got that meeting with your team later,” Harry pointed out, and Cisco sighed in frustration.

“Shit,” he said. “You’re right.  But Harry…”

“I know,” Harry sighed. “I promise we’ll talk later.”

“We’re gonna talk a lot,” Cisco said. “Because this...this is a lot.”

“I know,” Harry said again. 

He leaned down to press a kiss to Cisco’s forehead, gratified when he didn’t pull away or deny him.

“I love you,” he said, and Cisco bit his lip.

“Yeah,” he said finally. “I love you, too.”

* * *

“Anything new?” Caitlin asked.

“He squeezed my hand really hard earlier,” Jesse said. “He actually broke a finger, I think, but it’s healed already.”

She waggled her fingers at Caitlin to demonstrate, but she still grabbed them and studied them just to make sure that they’d set right.  

“We won’t tell him about that,” she said decisively, releasing Jesse’s hand when she was satisfied.

“Great,” Jesse agreed quickly. “That’s a good idea.”

Her dad would never forgive himself if she told him that he’d hurt her in any way.  It was better that he didn’t know, because when he woke up she wanted to hug him for at least twenty minutes, and he wouldn’t touch her if he thought he’d hurt her.

And anyway, what was a broken finger to a speedster?  It had hurt for less than five minutes before it was healed.  Her dad needed to be protected from himself sometimes, and she was completely willing to do that.  He’d always been willing to do it for her. And maybe she could be a little more understanding of that when he woke up.  Because he would wake up.

* * *

Harry stopped at the grocery store on the way home.

In a way, it was to delay what was sure to be a very confusing and emotionally charged talk.  But mostly, it was to get some bribery material to keep Cisco from ripping his head off the moment he walked through the door.  Which he supposed wouldn’t be totally unfair on Cisco’s part, since it seemed that he’d been hiding an illegitimate child for years.  He was hoping a pint of Chunky Monkey would help smooth things over long enough for him to get an explanation out.

As for how he was going to convince Cisco that he wasn’t completely insane?  Well…

He hadn’t gotten far yet.

Cisco was reading an article in  _ Popular Mechanics  _ on the couch when Harry got home.  He was dressed in Star Trek pajama pants and one of Harry’s old MIT hoodies, which was reassuring.  It meant he wasn’t planning on walking out, at any rate. He was dressed to stay in and have a comfortable discussion, and not for the first time Harry was struck by how lucky he was to have married a man who was so emotionally intelligent. He wasn’t the kind to cut and run at the first sign of trouble, and after so many years of loving him, Harry was starting to be that way too.

“Oh good, you brought comfort food,” Cisco said, making grabby hands for the ice cream.

Harry handed it off to him and went to get some spoons.  He considered going upstairs and getting changed as well, but then decided he’d made Cisco wait too long already.  His husband was a patient man, but this...it would only get worse the longer they let it sit between them.

“So,” Cisco said when Harry handed him a spoon and took a seat next to him. “You have a daughter.”

He didn’t look at Harry as he said it.  Instead, he focused on peeling the lid off the ice cream and digging his spoon in to the top of it.  It was unlike him. Cisco was always about eye contact, staring soulfully until Harry couldn’t help but spill what was on his mind.  To see him looking away so determinedly, with his shoulders slumped as if he was already defeated...Harry hated it. It hurt to see.

“I do,” Harry said firmly, even though he hardly understood what was going on himself.  He knew that Jesse was his daughter like he knew his own name. There was no doubt in his mind about that, but he he had no explanation for any of it. “Her name is Jesse.”

“And she...you…” Cisco paused for a moment, and when he next spoke his voice wobbled with emotion. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t...not tell you,” Harry said hesitantly, trying to figure out how to explain and coming up blank.

“Pretty sure that’s exactly what you did, actually,” Cisco said, a couple tears slipping down his cheek.

“It’s not, though,” Harry insisted, wishing there was something he could say that wouldn’t sound complete insane. “I’d...forgotten about her.”

Cisco finally looked up at him then, his face crumpling in a way that Harry couldn’t interpret. He could tell that it wasn’t a good look, though, so he hurried to explain himself.

“You know how I’ve been feeling like something is wrong lately?  Like something is missing?”

“You think it’s a daughter you forgot about?” Cisco asked.  He sounded so incredulous, and Harry couldn’t blame him. It sounded crazy.

“I know how it sounds,” he said, frustrated. “But I...I keep seeing her everywhere.  And the other night I dreamed of her and I remembered her life, Cisco. I remembered kissing her bruises and threatening her first boyfriend and...she’s real.  I know she is.”

“Okay,” Cisco said abruptly. Harry paused, waiting for him to say something else, but instead he just took a huge scoop of ice cream and shoved it in his mouth.  Harry felt like his skin was going to vibrate off, he was so anxious about his reaction, but he knew he couldn’t push. Harry had just dropped a bombshell on him, and it was a lot to digest, so he let him eat about a quarter of the pint before he spoke up again.

“I don’t know when I forgot her,” he said. “And I don’t know why, or how.  But I know she’s what’s missing.”

“Okay,” Cisco said again, and then he sighed deeply. “Well...I guess we start looking for her.”

“You believe me?” Harry asked, not even surprised by the relief that flooded through him.  He valued Cisco’s opinion above all others, and to know that he was on his side was incredibly reassuring.

“I believe that you believe it,” Cisco allowed. “And I want to help you figure this out.”

It wasn’t what Harry was looking for it.  It wasn’t a hundred percent, whole-hearted belief that Harry wasn’t insane. But it was a willingness to believe, or to help in any way he could, and Harry could appreciate that.  If Cisco started spouting off about a family member he knew from a dream, Harry would probably take him straight to a doctor.

“Thank you,” he said, his voice a little weak. “You...I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Cisco said, with no hesitation.  He set aside the ice cream and pulled Harry into a tight hug, and it was all Harry could do to just cling on to the one thing that was a constant solid in his life. “We’ll figure this out.”

* * *

Several hours and the best of Cisco’s hacking abilities later revealed that there was no such person as Jesse Wells.  At least, not one directly related to Harry or Tess, or even one who looked remotely like the girl Harry kept seeing everywhere.  It seemed, for all intents and purposes, that Harry’s daughter wasn’t a real person after all.

“She’s real, Cisco,” Harry said, frustrated. “I know it, in my gut.”

“Babe,” Cisco said tiredly. “It’s 4 am.  We’re both exhausted…”

“You think I’m crazy,” Harry said, aware even as he was saying it that he sounded paranoid.

“I think I’m very tired, and so are you,” Cisco corrected gently. “Let’s go to bed and look at it with fresh brains in the morning.”

Harry didn’t want to go to bed.  He didn’t want Cisco to talk to him gently, like he was trying to skirt around a breakdown.  He just wanted to find his daughter and figure out how she had disappeared so thoroughly. The absolute last thing he wanted to do was lay in the dark for several hours and think.

“Please come to bed,” Cisco asked, nearly begging. “I’ll call Felicity Smoak at Queen Consolidated in the morning.  She’s the best hacker I’ve ever met, and if I can’t find Jesse then she definitely can.”

“I…”

“Harry, please,” Cisco said again. “You’re scaring me.”

Harry had to look away from him then.  He took a lot of pride in being able to scare his employees into submission with a well-placed glare, but he never wanted to scare Cisco.  Even if it meant reigning in his desperate need to do something so that he could lay in the dark for a while to let his husband get some sleep.

“Okay,” he said, letting out a deep breath through his nose. “Okay, let’s go to bed.”

* * *

“We’re running out of time,” Jesse announced.

Caitlin looked away from her monitors, a frown on her face that meant their vitals were continuing to get worse. They had started dropping at about five am, and just as rapidly they had started to see the decline in health on their faces.  They were both getting paler, with dark shadows starting to appear under their eyes and a cold sweat on their faces. They looked ill, and it was really starting to freak her out.

“We’ve got a few hours,” Caitlin said, though it wasn’t that reassuring.  They’d been at this for almost a full day and were no closer to finding any answers.  Her dad hadn’t reacted to her or any sort of stimuli that Caitlin threw at him since saying her name in the middle of the night.  She was almost starting to wonder if she was just imagining it. If she’d been so tired that she’d heard what she wanted to.

The only thing they had to go on was a teenager locked in the Pipeline, with nothing to offer them but teary-eyed excuses.  He’d ruined lives and he was going to ruin more, and all they were doing was keeping him locked up. He couldn’t offer them any solutions or reverse what he’d done.  All he could do was cry and continue to drain the life out her father.

“What do you think would happen if Dream Catcher died?” she asked abruptly.

The silence in the lab was deafening, and right away Jesse knew it had been the wrong question to ask. The way Caitlin was staring at her, like she didn’t even know who she was looking at, spoke volumes.

“I mean...if he’s not alive, he can’t feed off their energy, right?” she asked.

“Right…” Caitlin said slowly. “But...Jesse...he’s just a kid…”

“Dream Catcher is a murderer,” Jesse shot back stubbornly. “Two kids are dead, and more…”

“ _ Jason White _ is eighteen years old and terrified,” Caitlin said back, firmly. “Jesse, I know you’re upset and scared, but don’t let that make you do something you can’t come back from.”

“I’m not planning on doing anything,” Jesse said stiffly. 

But, if only in the privacy of her own head, she was willing to admit that she might.  If it meant saving her father, she could try and reconcile the idea of taking a life. Especially if it were the life of someone who had already killed people.  She understood, suddenly, how her dad could kill Turtle without an ounce of remorse if it meant saving her. Maybe they were more similar than she had thought.

“Good,” Caitlin said cautiously, but Jesse saw her trying to be subtle as she sent a text, probably to Barry, probably to keep an eye on the Pipeline.

She heaved a sigh and focused her attention back on her dad.  She took his hand, cold and clammy now, in hers and pressed a kiss to his knuckles.

“Please wake up, Daddy,” she begged quietly. “Please, please wake up.”

* * *

Harry couldn’t see anything.  He was aware that he was laying down somewhere, and that there was a beeping noise around him, and that someone was clutching at his hand, but try as he might, he couldn’t open his eyes.  He couldn’t even speak. All he could do was lay there and listen to gentle beeps and feel that hand on his.

He tried to stretch out his sense some more, try to gain some intel on where he was and what was happening to him, but everything seemed fuzzy and distant.  The only thing that felt real was that hand holding on to his, but when he tried to squeeze it he found that he couldn’t move. His heart started pounding with panic at the idea that he’d somehow become paralyzed and was stuck in his own body.  He must be in the hospital, with that beeping noise, and it was probably Cisco holding his hand.

But he couldn’t remember what happened. Had he been in an accident?

“Daddy, wake up,” a voice begged him quietly. “Please…”

He gasped himself awake.

For a moment he grouped around himself in a blind panic, looking for Jesse, and then he realized that he was lying in bed, and that Jesse was still gone.  The clock on the ceiling informed him that it was barely past seven am, and when he looked he could see the hint of morning light around the edges of the blackout curtains on their windows.

Cisco was sound asleep, looking exhausted even as he rested, and Harry swallowed down some guilt at that.  He knew it was his fault that Cisco was tired and stressed, but he had to admit he was glad to have him helping anyway.  It was much better than doing it alone. But now...now he had an idea of what was going on. Jesse had told him.

He just had to wake up.

* * *

“So,” Cisco said later that morning.  

Harry hadn’t been able to fall back asleep after his epiphany and he’d crawled out of bed so as not to wake Cisco up.  But now it was nearing noon and Cisco was seated at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and a large bowl of Lucky Charms, watching Harry carefully.

“I know how it sounds,” Harry said tiredly.

He’d told Cisco all about the strange dream that had woken him up from a dead sleep, and the feeling of being trapped in his own body.  The voice of his daughter begging him to wake up. The realization that all of this was a fabrication, a dream, and that Jesse was waiting for him to wake up and come back to her.

“Do you, though?” Cisco asked, squinting at him suspiciously. “Because it’s very  _ Inception _ .”

“I know,” Harry reassured him. “But...you have to admit something’s not right, right?  Something is missing.”

“Harry,” Cisco said slowly. “Nothing is missing.  Our lives are good...great even. You have a successful company that’s making newer and better innovations every day.  You have me…”

He sounded uncertain when he said that last part, like he wasn’t sure it was a good point.  Like he thought maybe he wasn’t enough. And Harry realized, with a pang, that he might not be.  He loved Cisco. He loved Cisco with all his heart, and he knew that as surely as he knew his own name.  But Harry couldn’t stay in this place where he was separated from his daughter, even if meant living in perfect bliss with Cisco for the rest of his days.  It just wasn’t enough.

“And that’s all wonderful,” Harry assured him. “But there is something missing, Cisco.   My daughter. Jesse. And I have to get her back.”

“So all of this is just fake, then,” Cisco said dully. “Our whole life together, everything we’ve built.  It’s all just a dream.”

“Yes,” Harry said, and Cisco flinched. “But...we have real lives out there, Cisco, I know it.  We’re trapped in here.”

He was growing frustrated with Cisco’s attitude.  It wasn’t as if Harry was dissatisfied with him. It wasn’t really about him at all. 

“I don’t feel trapped, Harry,” Cisco insisted. “And I don’t feel like I’m dreaming.”

“I don’t feel like I’m dreaming, either,” Harry told him. “But Jesse told me that I was…”

“Harry,” Cisco said firmly. “I think maybe you’ve been working too hard lately. I think we should go to the doctor…”

“You think I’m crazy,” Harry said, hating the disappointment that welled up inside him.  He knew how it sounded, but he’d always thought that Cisco would support him. That he’d have his back and believe him when Harry needed him to.  Like he’d just know, intrinsically, that Harry was telling the truth.

“I don’t think you’re crazy,” Cisco assured him quickly. “I just think maybe you’re stressed.  There have been a lot of projects at STAR that are behind on their deadlines and I know that it’s been rough on you with the investors…”

“I’m not having a breakdown,” Harry snapped, stung. “And I’m not going to let them lock me away.  I’m going to wake myself up and see my daughter.”

He got to his feet and slammed out of the kitchen before Cisco could react, hating the pit of betrayal and anger bubbling up in his stomach.  He knew that Cisco was just worried, but it gutted him to know that he wasn’t believed. That Cisco thought he was having some sort of mental breakdown and wouldn’t help him.  That he thought Harry should be committed.

He slid into the first car he came to and tore out of the driveway as quickly as possible.  He didn’t know what he was going to do quite yet, but Cisco had given him an idea. His husband, as ever obsessed with movie references, had told him exactly what he needed to do.

* * *

The Central City Skyline looked oddly peaceful in the evening sun, and Harry found himself somewhat transfixed by it.  His city had always been beautiful to him, of course, but something about it right now really struck him to his core. Maybe it was the idea that if he was wrong, he’d never see it again.

But he wasn’t wrong.  He was sure of that. He’d spent all day thinking and planning, planning and thinking.  He knew this was what he had to do. Still, every instinct inside of him screamed with uncertainty, and he found himself hesitating.

“Harry?” 

He jumped in surprise at the sound of Cisco’s voice and turned to look at him.  His husband was frozen in place at the roof-access door, watching Harry with wide, wary eyes. He looked like he was afraid to step out of the doorway, worried that it might spook Harry and force his hand. Which was probably fair, since Harry was standing on the edge of the roof of STAR Labs and thinking about jumping.

“Cisco,” he said calmly. “How’d you find me?”

“I know you pretty well,” Cisco said, still resolutely not moving. “And you didn’t disable the alarm when you came up, so security called the house.”

Harry snorted, shaking his head at his own forgetfulness.  He wasn’t at his best, he knew, but forgetting to disable the alarm in his own security system was a bit much.

“Can you get away from the ledge, please?” Cisco asked, his voice gentle and almost crooning, like Harry was a wary cat he was trying to lure in with scraps of affection and meat.

“No,” Harry said calmly. “I’m going to jump, Cisco.”

“Don’t do that,” Cisco said, rushing toward him like a man possessed and then coming to a complete stop when Harry stepped up to the ledge. “Harry, please.”

“It’s going to be okay,” Harry assured him, aware of how awful this must seem. Like he was trying to kill himself, instead of saving himself. “I’ll just wake up.”

“Harry…” Cisco said, his tone soothing. “If I come over there, you won’t jump, will you?”

“Not yet,” Harry allowed.

He was definitely going to jump.  It was the only way to wake himself up, he was sure of it.  It would be a huge kick to the brain, to think he was going to die, and the only way to avoid it would be to wake up.  It was the only choice.

Cisco rushed to his side, and Harry was surprised when he stepped right up on the edge with him.  Cisco wasn’t overly fond of heights, he knew, and he could see the tremor in his hands as he reached out and grabbed Harry by the shoulders.

“Please don’t do this,” he begged, his eyes wet with tears. “Harry…”

“It’s okay, Cisco,” Harry tried to reassure him. “I know you don’t entirely understand, but I promise it’ll be okay.  I need you to trust me.”

“I do, Harry,” Cisco assured him. “I do trust you and I love you and I need you to trust me, okay?  Please come down and we’ll go inside…”

“No, Cisco,” Harry said, taking a step back so that Cisco wasn’t touching him any more.  Cisco lunged for him again, hands outstretched, but Harry took another quick step back to avoid him. “I’m going to jump, Cisco, and I’ll wake up and it’ll be okay.”

“And...what about me?” Cisco asked, his voice choked up. “Am I just supposed to…to stand here and let you do it?  Just watch the man I love throw himself off the edge of a building because he thinks there has to be something better than our life together?”

“It’s not like that, Cisco,” Harry sighed. “I am so in love with you, and I know that we’re in this dream together.  You’re too real, too important. We’ll wake up together.”

It was incomprehensible that there was any form of Harry’s life that didn’t involve his love for Cisco Ramon. He knew that they were trapped here together, and that they would still be together when they woke up.  Nothing else made sense, because Cisco was his strength and his heart. He just needed Cisco to understand that.

“Well…” Cisco said slowly. “Then I’ll jump with you.”

Harry stared at him for a second, and his heart sped up in his chest.  Even though he knew it was just a dream and jumping would wake them up, he still felt something in his gut that rebelled against putting Cisco in any kind of danger, real or dreamed.  But then, he realized, that it was perfect. Cisco would definitely wake up with him if they both jumped, and he wouldn’t have to worry about accidentally leaving him behind.

“Thank you,” Harry said, stepping forward to kiss him with as much passion and love as he could manage.  He didn’t know how to express how grateful he was for this trust with words, but he could show him with action.

“Oh,” Cisco said, a little breathlessly, when they pulled apart. “I kind of hoped that would change your mind.”

Harry frowned at him, taking another step back.

“You don’t have to,” he said, disappointed. “I’ll do it myself and make sure you wake up, too, I promise.”

“Why are you so sure about this?” Cisco demanded, clearly at a loss.

“I just am,”  Harry said, unable to explain it. “I feel it in my gut. I know this is what I have to do.  I just need you to trust me.”

Cisco searched his face, like he was trying to find all the answers of the universe there, and then he closed his eyes and sighed.

“I do trust you,” he said. “But I’m scared, Harry.  What if you’re wrong and we’re just jumping to our deaths?”

“I’m not wrong,” Harry assured him.

Cisco stared at him again, his jaw wobbling, and several long minutes passed as they looked at each other.  Harry tried to project a calm, fearless countenance to show his conviction. He knew this was right. He knew it was what they had to do.  He was willing to do it alone, if he had to, but he had to admit the idea of taking the literal plunge with Cisco at his side was much preferable.

“And...what if you’re right?” Cisco asked. “What if there is another world out there, and we wake up and…”

He trailed off, tears spilling over his cheeks finally.  Harry made a small noise in the back of his throat, hating to watch him cry, and pressed forward to swipe the tears from his cheeks with his thumb.

“And what?” he asked.

“What if you’re right, but in this world you don’t love me?” His voice cracked as he asked it, like the very idea was enough to break him.

Harry shook his head and took his husband’s face in his hands, cradling it as gently and lovingly as he knew how.  Cisco looked back at him, his brown eyes wet and red with tears, and his hands reached out to cling to him, and Harry knew the right answer without a doubt in his mind.

“Not possible,” he promised, pressing a firm kiss to Cisco’s trembling lips. “There’s no place in any universe that I wouldn’t love you.”

A sob wrenched out of Cisco’s throat and he threw himself into Harry’s arms, pressing his face into his collarbone.  Harry grabbed him up tightly and pressed his cheek against the top of Cisco’s head, burying a hand in his hair to try and comfort him.  He felt his tears soaking through his shirt, and it was all he could do to hold on to his conviction. They had to do this. They had to.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

Cisco tightened his grip around his waist and nodded.  Harry pressed a kiss into his hair.

“I love you,” Cisco said quietly.

“I love you, too,” Harry assured him. “Forever.”

And then he tipped them both over the edge.

* * *

“Caitlin!” Jesse yelled, her eyes on the monitors that were showing a uptick in vitals. She wasn’t a doctor and had never really studied much about human biology besides gen eds, so she didn’t really know what it was saying, but it was definitely a huge change. “Something’s happening!”

Caitlin hurried in front the Cortex, her eyes growing wide at the sight of the monitors.  She glanced over at Cisco and Harry, who were both still lying motionless and asleep, and then back at the monitors again.  She opened her mouth to speak, and then a breach opened in the middle of the medlab and Dahlia and Gypsy came spilling through with an old woman in tow.

“We’ve found someone who can stop the dream!” Dahlia announced triumphantly into the din. 

Then, when she got a read on the room, she paused and looked around.  The tension was palpable in the air, made only worse by the increasing beeping sounds coming from Caitlin’s monitors.

“Are we too late?” she asked, looking gutted.

“No…” Caitlin said slowly. “I think they’re…”

No sooner were the words out of her mouth than Jesse’s Dad was gasping for breath and bolting upright.  He looked like he’d just ran a marathon, and was certainly breathing like he had, but he was upright and awake.  The first thing he did was look around, and when his eyes landed on her his whole face lit up and he reached for her.  She didn’t deny him, launching herself into his arms with a sob.

Next to them, she heard Cisco make a similar gasping noise as he woke up as well.  She heard Caitlin talking to him in a gentle murmur, probably checking him over and making sure he was okay.  She also heard the quiet voices of Dahlia, Gypsy, and the woman they’d brought with them as they spoke among themselves, but she didn’t pay them any mind. All she could focus on was the tightness with which her dad held her, and the utter relief in knowing that he was awake.

“Jesse.”

He said her name breathlessly, almost like a prayer, and the relief she felt in knowing that he knew her was palpable.  He’d managed to wake up just because she was so important to him, and she didn’t know how to handle that. She wasn’t sure she was worthy of that kind of love.  But she was greedy for it, and she’d take it as long as he was willing and able to give it.

“I was so scared,” she admitted into his shoulder, and he made a gentle shushing sound and stroked her hair comfortingly.  Taking care of her like always, like he wasn’t the one who had almost died. He really was a good dad.

“We’re okay, Quick,” he assured her.

Someone cleared their throat and Jesse pulled away just enough to look in that direction.  The little old lady who had come through the breach with Dahlia and Gypsy was watching them all with her thin white brows raised high on her forehead.  She looked regal in her bright red head scarf and golden jewelry, like they’d kidnapped a queen from her throne.

“This is all very touching,” she said, her voice lilting with a light accent that Jesse couldn’t quite place. “But I do believe there are others here in need of my services.”

And she was right.  Of course she was right.  There had been other victims, and just because her people were okay didn’t mean they could just forget about the others.

“Right,” Barry said quickly. “I’ll give you a run to the hospital.”

Before the woman could open her mouth to protest, or even say anything at all, they were gone with a rush of wind.

“Oh, she’s going to hate that,” Dahlia said, sounding delighted. “Can someone bring me down to your prison?  I’d like to talk to Mr. White.”

Joe made disgruntled noises about it not being a  _ prison  _ per se, even though it definitely was a prison.  Still, his cop sensibilities probably warred with a lot of the steps they took to keep their city safe, so Jesse didn’t try to disabuse him of his notions as he lead Dahlia away.  Instead, she focused her attention back on her dad, who was starting to look pale again as Caitlin explained to them what had happened.

“Are you feeling okay?” she asked.

“Just...a lot to process,” he said, his voice gruff in the way it got when he was embarrassed.  

He was staring intently at his lap and avoiding Cisco’s gaze entirely, so she imagined that he’d just found out that they’d all seen the dream.  She patted his shoulder in what she hoped was a comforting way and resolved not to mention it until they were alone. But she was going to mention it, because she hadn’t seen him look so happy in years.  Not since her mom died, and if Cisco made him feel that way again it was stupid not to pursue it.

“That’s understandable,” Caitlin allowed. “You’ve been through a lot in the last twenty-four hours.”

“Twenty-four hours,” Cisco repeated hoarsely.

“Yeah,” Caitlin said, frowning. “How long did you think it had been?”

“I don’t know,” Cisco said. “It seemed like months. Years, even.”

“A life,” her dad added.

Silence descended for a moment, and then Caitlin cleared her throat a little awkwardly.  She clasped her hands in front of her and the straightened them against her skirt, and then clasped them again.

“Well...I’m sure you’re both tired,” she said. “Or...maybe tired isn’t the right word.  But you seem like you’re both alright and if you wanted to go take a break…”

Her dad didn’t even let her finish her sentence before he was on his feet and hurrying out the door, his shoulders tight.  Cisco stayed where he was, staring down at his lap like it had betrayed him, and Jesse and Caitlin met eyes. Caitlin kind of made a face and shrugged her shoulders, so Jesse just shrugged back.  She wanted to chase after her dad and make him talk about everything, but she was sure he needed time to sort his head out before she tried to drag anything out of him. 

Instead, she cleared her throat and announced that she was going to go get some pizzas, and before long Cisco was shouting overly complicated topping combinations at her while Caitlin lobbied valiantly for pineapple.  By the time she was heading out of the labs with a detailed list, he was grinning again and regaling Caitlin with tales of his dream-job as head of R&D.

She suspected her dad would be a little bit harder to tackle.

* * *

Harry let himself in to the office he’d turned into a bedroom and leaned his back against the door until it clicked closed behind him.  He let out a long deep breath, until his lungs felt like they were going to collapse in his chest, and then he sucked in some air through his nose.

Well.  Fuck.

The dream had seemed so real that even now, wide awake, he wasn’t convinced he’d be able to tell the difference if asked. And, worse, he didn’t know that he’d ever get the feeling of Cisco’s skin under his hands out of his brain.  The way his lips felt pressing up against Harry’s, the blissful sighs he’d made and the way he’d clutched at Harry’s shoulders and his neck and his back, anywhere he could grab on.

The feel of Cisco, belonging to him wholly and unreservedly, would be with him forever.  But so would the knowledge that Harry had practically forced him into it.

It hadn’t been intentional, of course, but it had been his dream.  Cisco was just along for the ride, finding himself in a role he wanted no part in.  It was unfortunate for him that that role happened to embody all of Harry’s fantasies.  Sure, he’d clung and kissed and gasped just as much as Harry had, but he hadn’t been in control.  They weren’t his feelings, they were Harry’s desires pressed upon him.

And Cisco wouldn’t blame him, he knew that.  Cisco was too good and forgiving and he’d argue that Harry hadn’t had any more control that he had.  And logically, Harry knew that he was right. He would never force Cisco to do anything he didn’t want to do if he had any choice in the matter.  Still, the guilt clung to him. 

And worse, now they all knew.  Now Cisco knew.

He knew exactly how much Harry loved him, how much he wanted him.  How he’d spent months allowing himself to imagine what it would be like not only to have him in his bed, but to have him in his life. He knew it intimately, and now Harry had to work with him every day, knowing that Cisco knew.   Knowing what it was like to hold him and touch him and love him and not being able to do it. It would be absolute torture, but there was no other choice.

He couldn’t leave.  He’d tried that before, and he’d never been able to get Cisco off his mind.  He hadn’t been able to stop worrying and wondering and thinking unless he was here on Earth-1 with him.  That wasn’t going to change, and Harry wasn’t strong enough to leave. He’d just have to hope that he hadn’t ruined the closeness between them, because Cisco had his heart, but he was also Harry’s best friend. He couldn’t stand to lose that.

He jerked away from the door with a start when someone knocked on it, and he almost didn’t answer until he heard Jesse call out for him.  He heaved a sigh, tried to collect himself, and opened the door for her. He knew that she knew the moment he looked at her, because she had that look on her face that said she was going to try and make him talk about emotions.

“Don’t,” he groaned, pressing his eyes closed.

“Dad…”

“Jesse, I can’t right now,” he said plaintively.

She paused for a moment and bit her lip, studying him speculatively. He could see the moment that she decided to press on anyway, and he rolled his eyes powerfully.

“Dad, I just...I think if Cisco makes you happy you should go for it,” she said.

“It’s not that simple, Quick,” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose to chase away the headache he could feel building.

“It doesn’t have to be hard,” she shot back. “You looked at him the way you used to look at mom.”

“When I looked at your mother like that, she looked back by her own will,” Harry told her shortly. “Jesse, just drop it.”

“Okay,” she said, raising her hands in the universal gesture of surrender. “I told you what I wanted to tell you.  Just think about it, okay? Talk to Cisco.”

Harry waved her off impatiently, having exactly zero intentions of ever speaking of any of this ever again.  The way she sighed and glared at him told him that she knew that perfectly well what he was thinking, but she didn’t push the issue any more.  That in itself kind of surprised him, but he didn’t want to risk any questions by asking her about it, so he ignored it.

“Well, I got pizza,” Jesse said. “We’re all going to meet up in the Cortex and eat, and then everyone’s gonna go home and get some more sleep.”

“I could go for pizza,” Harry admitted, and his stomach rumbled loudly at the thought.  He couldn’t remember the last thing he’d actually eaten.

Jesse grinned at him happily and slipped her arm through his like she had when she was young enough to want to hold on to him but too old to want to hold his hand.  She hadn’t done anything of the type since she’d been about fourteen, and he had to admit it was nice. Maybe he’d have to almost die more often, if it got his daughter to admit that she actually liked him occasionally.

* * *

Days passed, and things went back to normal.  Or, as normal as they could be for a superhero team in a city full of unhinged metas.

Gypsy, Dahlia, and the old woman--who had eventually introduced herself as Amina after she had woken up the rest of the victims--had headed back to their own universes the same day. With them had gone Jason White.  After all of the victims had been woken up, Amina had gone down to the Pipeline to speak with him and offer training. He’d been reluctant to leave his life and his universe and everything he knew, but in the end it had been the only choice, and they all knew it.

So, rather than keeping him locked up in the Pipeline or having him shipped off to Iron Heights, he was going to a commune with a bunch of other metas with his same powers, where he would learn to control them and use them for good.  Or, at least, that was the hope.

Jesse had gone back to their Earth a few days later, reluctantly but with increasing awareness that she had responsibilities at home that she needed to attend to.  But she had left with a long hug, a promise from Harry to visit soon, and a sort of calm peace in the air between them that he hadn’t felt in years.

As for the rest of them, it was business as usual.  Iris went back to her blog with a vengeance while Barry spent his time with the CCPD in between fighting metas. Caitlin dove into her latest research project and Cisco spent hours drawing up new designs for a prototype for his suit.  For his part, Harry tried his best to make himself useful while also avoiding talking about anything that might lead them back to his humiliating dream.

It was a week before Cisco cornered him in the staff kitchen on the fourth floor where Harry cooked most of his meals.   He was making a cup of coffee, his mind spinning with a theorem, and when he turned, Cisco was leaning against the counter behind him. He sloshed his drink over his fingers, and Cisco grimaced at him apologetically as he ran his fingers under the cold tap to relieve some of the burn.

“So, I’ve given you a week,” he said when Harry turned the sink off.

Harry squeezed his eyes shut for a second and for a moment contemplated if he would be able to escape without making things awkward. After a rush of failed escape scenarios flashed through his brain, he opened his eyes again and resigned himself.

“I’m sorry,” he said, looking down into the sink. “I know it can’t have been the best situation for you…”

“Oh, come on, Harry,” Cisco sighed. “It wasn’t your fault.  It’s not like it was a nefarious plot. We were in it together.”

“But it was my dream,” Harry said. “And you...we...you didn’t have a choice.  And for that I’m sorry. I should have said something before.”

“You didn’t have a choice, either,” Cisco pointed out.

“It was my dream,” Harry insisted. “My...fantasy.  Desire. Whatever you want to call it.”

“Harry,” Cisco said, sounding serious in a way that he hardly ever did. “Will you look at me please?”

He sounded so soft and gentle and for a moment it was like they were back in the dream.  Back in the home they’d shared together, where Harry could have turned and taken Cisco into his arms.  Where he could have pressed kisses to his lips until he forget they were trying to have a serious discussion.  Where he could have loved him like he wanted to.

Instead, they were here, in a tiny staff kitchen in a defunct lab, farther apart than they had ever been.

Harry squeezed his eyes closed again for a moment, and then fixed his expression into something he hoped was blank and natural.  Then, finally, he turned to look Cisco in the face. He was expecting some sort of pity there, but instead he just found determination.  It confused him, and any thoughts he’d managed to gather disappeared at the sight of it. He suddenly wasn’t sure where this conversation was going.

“Do you know my parents don’t like me?” Cisco asked.

It threw Harry for such a loop that he nodded absentmindedly before his brain caught up and he froze in his tracks.

“What?” he asked, confused.

“Most parents would be psyched to have a son who’s an engineer, working for a prestigious tech lab,” Cisco said conversationally. “Mine always hated that I didn’t go into music like Dante.”

He sighed and rolled his eyes towards the ceiling.  Harry watched in confused silence, unsure of what to say, or what point Cisco was trying to make.  He was confident that he had one, though, so he waited for it.

“They always wanted me to be obedient like he was, the perfect son.  But perfect sons don’t build projectile weapons out of their mom’s toaster when they’re seven, and they don’t talk back and forge their own path like I did.  I know they love me, but I also know they wish I was the one who had died in the car accident, not Dante.”

“Cisco…” he started to protest, but Cisco just shrugged with a wry smile.

“It’s true,” he said.

“I don’t understand why you’re telling me this,” Harry admitted.

“You didn’t know any of this before I told you just now,” Cisco said. “But in the dream, my parents adored me.”

“I…” Harry hesitated, thinking about that.

He hadn’t really questioned Cisco’s family being there, or the way his mother had treated him like he’d hung the stars in the sky.  He’d assumed it was just an extraneous detail, something the magic threw together to make the world more believable so that he wouldn’t realize he was dreaming.  But if that aspect of the dream was meant to appeal to Cisco…

“I used to dream of being head of R&D at STAR, too,” Cisco said. “I’d think about, you know, someone seeing my work and realizing I was a visionary and pulling me out of obscurity and having my own team to make my work real.”

He looked at Harry with dark, serious eyed, and Harry felt his heart skip.  What he was saying...it couldn’t be real. It couldn’t be...it was too good to be true.  It was…

“Cisco,” he said.

“It might have been your dream, Harry,”  Cisco said. “But it catered to me, too. It gave me what I wanted just as much as it did for you.”

“What are you saying?” Harry demanded.

He was an incredibly smart man, he knew, but somehow this just wasn’t making sense to his brain.  It was too much to let himself hope for. He needed Cisco to tell him.

“God, you’re so annoying,” Cisco sighed. “I’m saying that being married to you was incredible, and definitely something I fantasized about way before we got trapped in Dream Land.”

“So it wasn’t just me,” Harry said..

Cisco rolled his eyes so hard it looked painful.

“It wasn’t just you,” Cisco confirmed.

There was a beat of long silence, the air between them charged with electricity and so much more.  It was palpable, like he could reach out and touch it. Inanely, he did reach out, but Cisco reached for him in the same moment, and like magnets they were drawn together.

They practically collided in the middle of the kitchen, coming together like they were starving for each other.  Harry thought that maybe, after what had seemed like months of marriage and intimacy and love, they were. All he knew for sure was that putting his arms around Cisco and slotting their lips together was like coming home, sliding comfortably into a place that he belonged.

Cisco made a groaning noise deep in his throat and clung to him, the familiar press of his fingers coming up to stroke along the nape of Harry’s neck.  It was so utterly, intimately familiar and enthrallingly new at the same time that it made Harry’s head spin and he felt almost drunk on Cisco’s mere presence.

“I love you,” Cisco whispered into the air between them when they parted for breath, their foreheads pressed together, clinging tightly like they were afraid to let go. “God, Harry, I love you.”

Their lips brushed just slightly as he said it, and Harry couldn’t stop the punched out noise that burst from his throat at the sensation.  He wasn’t sure he’d ever felt so utterly content and at peace in his whole life as he did in that moment, knowing that he loved and was loved in return.

“I love you, too,” he said, and he felt Cisco’s smile as they pressed together again, their kisses a little slower and sweeter.

“So,” Cisco said, after a few minutes when they managed to pull away from each other again. “Should we just get married, or…?”

Harry snorted a laugh and Cisco grinned, obviously pleased with himself.

“Maybe a date or two, first,” Harry allowed.

“Right,” Cisco agreed seriously. “No wedding before the third date.”

Harry laughed again, feeling lighter than he had in years, and gazed at him with what he was sure was an adoring expression.  He’d have to work on reigning that in, or no one would ever take him seriously again. But then, Cisco grinned back hugely, his eyes crinkling happily, and Harry thought that it would be worth it to never be taken seriously again, if it meant Cisco would look at him like that every day.

It was a sacrifice he was willing to make.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing this fic for six months and I hate it so much. I hope you guys enjoyed it and I didn't totally waste my time. Please let me know with a comment.


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